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Guess who?
Aug. 17th, 2003 02:33 pmYeah, me. I'm on my brother and sister's computer, mainly to study for the IT test. I figured that while I was here, I may as well fill in what's been happening to me in the meantime. I may or may not have time to get up to date on my friends page, I don't know.
Wednesday:
Drove to Sydney. On the way there, was bored so started listing reasons why my life currently sucks. Reached up to 50, then gave up because I realised with some measure of depression that I could easily come up with heaps more. Went to auntie Chez's house, saw many relatives, many of said relatives were on the verge of falling apart. As am I. Spaced out a lot, almost cried even more. Rang up Eugenie on my mobile to inform her that I was alive, conversation ended up rather amusing on my end because I had cousins running around my feet. Went to stay at Grandpa's house, found that I was unable to believe he was really gone and was repressing like crazy. How healthy. Relatives fought, I listened to my discman heaps. Oh, and I think I called Victoria, and attempted to call Mari, to ask about English. Victoria had been sick, Mari wasn't there. I think I also
Thursday:
Was really very miserable. Still couldn't believe grandpa was gone. Can't actually remember what I did. Life was and is a bit of a blur... what day is it?
Wait. I remember- got dragged shopping. Hate shopping for clothes, especially with mother. Was trying to find clothes for funeral. Got a skirt, but no top. Burst into tears in tree of life because I couldn't find anything and heaps of stuff didn't fit me, and that was just one too many reasons why I hate my life right now. May have been that night or the next that I ventured into Grandpa's bedroom for the first time in my life, I don't know. It was an attempt to force myself to realise he was dead. Obviously, it didn't work. I did, however, discover a poem on his wall that will be in the funeral.
Friday:
Got dragged shopping YET AGAIN despite protests, this time to the factory outlets at Homebush Bay. Mum keeps saying things like "grandpa wouldn't want you to cry" and "grandpa wouldn't want (this, that, the other, etc)" which, whether she knows it or means it or not, is a form of emotional blackmail. I got fed up and told her what grandpa WOULDN'T want was her hassling me. He used to say "Faye! Leave the poor girl alone!" all the time. Mum agreed with me, laughed a little. She still does it, though- I think it's automatic, too hard not to. What else? Bought the Evanescence cd, very cool, suits my mood. Got pissed off and yelled at my family in the changing rooms cause I was sick of being treated like a bloody barbie doll. Got new shoes, got top for funeral, got different top. Wrote introduction for poem, because that is apparently up to me. More family fighting, more discman, etc.
Saturday:
Um... that WAS yesterday, right? Right. Well, got to sleep in, as I haven't been sleeping very well. Um. Mari rang me back, got to talk for 15 minutes, which was good because I think I've run outta phone credit. Dad came up to Sydney with Ebony. I love ma poodle. *hugs ebby* Didn't really do all that much, probably. More discman, no fights for once, got relocated to Ceilidh and Rohan's house. Felt a bit like excess luggage. Went out to Japanese restaurant for dinner.
Today:
Slept in, went shopping with Rohan. Bought dad his father's day present (Japanese cookbook). Feet are killing me, lots of walking around town. Rohan told me I looked like I came from the Western suburbs of Sydney because I was wearing an old flannel shirt Ceilidh gave me last time I was up along with my jeans and hiking boots. I informed him he was a Sydney snob. I am obviously on the computer, and I have yet to have lunch.
So anyway, that's the basic rundown. Overlayed over all this is a LOT of tuning out to discman, lots of spacing out, quite a bit of crying, and an insane amount of homework for lack of better things to do. Apparently, I am to face the IT test of doom upon return, as well as History Document study of doom. This concerns me, as do my Japanese test, my Japanese Oral and my Maths test, all rescheduled for my return. I really do hate my life.
I hate Javascript, too. It defies me. BAH. *shudder*
Funeral is tomorrow at 10.30 am. Needless to say, I am not particularly looking forward to it. I really, REALLY do not like funerals, and this would be at least the 4th one. *sigh*
I'll be back at school on Wednesday- we're driving back on Tuesday.
Wednesday:
Drove to Sydney. On the way there, was bored so started listing reasons why my life currently sucks. Reached up to 50, then gave up because I realised with some measure of depression that I could easily come up with heaps more. Went to auntie Chez's house, saw many relatives, many of said relatives were on the verge of falling apart. As am I. Spaced out a lot, almost cried even more. Rang up Eugenie on my mobile to inform her that I was alive, conversation ended up rather amusing on my end because I had cousins running around my feet. Went to stay at Grandpa's house, found that I was unable to believe he was really gone and was repressing like crazy. How healthy. Relatives fought, I listened to my discman heaps. Oh, and I think I called Victoria, and attempted to call Mari, to ask about English. Victoria had been sick, Mari wasn't there. I think I also
Thursday:
Was really very miserable. Still couldn't believe grandpa was gone. Can't actually remember what I did. Life was and is a bit of a blur... what day is it?
Wait. I remember- got dragged shopping. Hate shopping for clothes, especially with mother. Was trying to find clothes for funeral. Got a skirt, but no top. Burst into tears in tree of life because I couldn't find anything and heaps of stuff didn't fit me, and that was just one too many reasons why I hate my life right now. May have been that night or the next that I ventured into Grandpa's bedroom for the first time in my life, I don't know. It was an attempt to force myself to realise he was dead. Obviously, it didn't work. I did, however, discover a poem on his wall that will be in the funeral.
Friday:
Got dragged shopping YET AGAIN despite protests, this time to the factory outlets at Homebush Bay. Mum keeps saying things like "grandpa wouldn't want you to cry" and "grandpa wouldn't want (this, that, the other, etc)" which, whether she knows it or means it or not, is a form of emotional blackmail. I got fed up and told her what grandpa WOULDN'T want was her hassling me. He used to say "Faye! Leave the poor girl alone!" all the time. Mum agreed with me, laughed a little. She still does it, though- I think it's automatic, too hard not to. What else? Bought the Evanescence cd, very cool, suits my mood. Got pissed off and yelled at my family in the changing rooms cause I was sick of being treated like a bloody barbie doll. Got new shoes, got top for funeral, got different top. Wrote introduction for poem, because that is apparently up to me. More family fighting, more discman, etc.
Saturday:
Um... that WAS yesterday, right? Right. Well, got to sleep in, as I haven't been sleeping very well. Um. Mari rang me back, got to talk for 15 minutes, which was good because I think I've run outta phone credit. Dad came up to Sydney with Ebony. I love ma poodle. *hugs ebby* Didn't really do all that much, probably. More discman, no fights for once, got relocated to Ceilidh and Rohan's house. Felt a bit like excess luggage. Went out to Japanese restaurant for dinner.
Today:
Slept in, went shopping with Rohan. Bought dad his father's day present (Japanese cookbook). Feet are killing me, lots of walking around town. Rohan told me I looked like I came from the Western suburbs of Sydney because I was wearing an old flannel shirt Ceilidh gave me last time I was up along with my jeans and hiking boots. I informed him he was a Sydney snob. I am obviously on the computer, and I have yet to have lunch.
So anyway, that's the basic rundown. Overlayed over all this is a LOT of tuning out to discman, lots of spacing out, quite a bit of crying, and an insane amount of homework for lack of better things to do. Apparently, I am to face the IT test of doom upon return, as well as History Document study of doom. This concerns me, as do my Japanese test, my Japanese Oral and my Maths test, all rescheduled for my return. I really do hate my life.
I hate Javascript, too. It defies me. BAH. *shudder*
Funeral is tomorrow at 10.30 am. Needless to say, I am not particularly looking forward to it. I really, REALLY do not like funerals, and this would be at least the 4th one. *sigh*
I'll be back at school on Wednesday- we're driving back on Tuesday.
