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Jan. 27th, 2004 01:42 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
tammaiyaGod, I feel like a complete twat. *cough*
Right, so as always, one starts with the beginning. The beginning, in creative cases, being the inspiration. I had less time to think of a plot for this one because Eujar kept changing her mind about what fic she wanted, and her final decision, I believe, was “Nip.Tuck. Um. Or Cesare Borgia/Machiavelli.” Well. I did, in fact, begin to write the LATTER, as I had given up on Nip.Tuck and was quite sure I didn’t have the first idea when it came to fiction. SO:
“I feel like a holiday,” Cesare Borgia announced imperiously. “We’re off to Antwerp.”
“Why Antwerp?” Nicolo Machiavelli muttered. “I like Florence.”
Cesare rolled his eyes. “Yes, I know you like Florence. You really, really like Florence, I get the point. It wouldn’t be a holiday if we just stayed here, though.”
Machiavelli sighed. “Fine. Just to satisfy your whims, we’ll go on a holiday. You haven’t explained why Antwerp yet.”
Cesare shrugged with a smirk. “Think of the possibilities. Antwerp is a cultural centre; (end)
And that is all that got written before I realised that I had absolutely NO idea what the FUCK I was doing. About the time I stopped to stare blankly at the screen, I remembered Eugenie telling me about the “you like boys” episode, and suddenly inspiration hit. Screw Cesare/Machiavelli, I thought firmly. Let’s do something where I’m not making it up as I go along. So I decided to write a vaguely AU fic where something had happened after the whole “you like boys” moment. And... well, this is the result.
“You like boys.”
Knocking back the last of his vodka faster than was wise, Christian flopped backwards onto his bed with a scowl. Him, like boys? Bullshit. He was a playboy, dammit. He had slept with how many gorgeous women? Christian did not do guys.
Well, except for once or twice, but you could hardly blame him. He was drunk, it was dark, they were feminine…
This wasn’t just justification. Really.
He didn’t know where that bitch of a prostitute got off saying things like that to him. Last time he’d checked, it wasn’t the way to get on a guy’s good side. Besides, it had nothing to do with him. The only reason he couldn’t get it up was because she was ugly as sin, which was the biggest lie he’d ever heard, and he shouldn’t get drunk because it led to all the wrong kinds of thoughts, like the time with Julia.
Ok. Now an important thing to remember here is that I am totally BULLSHITTING. I have not seen this episode, and I’m going totally on Eugenie’s masterful synopsis. Er… did it work? *grin*
He couldn’t think straight, and that was exactly the wrong wording, because all his thoughts were running into each other in a steady stream and he couldn’t help but remember when Julia had said the same thing.
You may notice an excess of run-on sentences here. No, my grammar has not just gone completely to pot; this was intentional. Really. Stop looking at me like that! But whichever way, the run-on sentences are supposed to reflect the way Christian’s thoughts are flowing into each other in his drunken state, and how he isn’t really in control of his thoughts right now.
“You like boys, don’t you?”
Which had struck the exact wrong chord in him, because it was really bad timing. He’d been friends with Sean forever, it sometimes seemed, and Sean knew Christian better than any other person. Not like now. They still knew everything about each other but they were always fighting, almost hating each other half the time.
He could practically pinpoint the moment when things had started to go downhill. Was it when he and Sean had kissed after a drunken celebration over getting good marks? He had freaked a bit afterwards, because he was straight, he was straight and he wasn’t going to be like that old bastard and don’t think about that.
Ah, reference to Christian’s sexually abusive past. Come on, you know it had to be in here somewhere. Nip.Tuck is only SO far from original fanfiction, I swear. And I don’t care that that is a contradiction in terms. *grin*
That was why he shouldn’t get drunk- he did things he shouldn’t do and thought things he didn’t want to think. They hadn’t talked about it, though, and it was all okay until Julia said what she did.
He’d all but physically shoved Sean away from him, dropped Julia like a hot potato and pushed the two of them together. Julia had been annoyed but she got over it. Sean was a much more considerate boyfriend than Christian, after all. Sean, on the other hand, had been hurt and confused. No big deal, right? Sean would survive, and if it created a little distance between them so much the better. Guys weren’t meant to be that close.
He didn’t care seeing them together, either. Didn’t bother him at all.
So okay, what was up with that whole thing? You can see that Sean and Christian were bestest best friends in the good old days. You know that Julia dated Christian before she dated Sean. But NOWHERE is there any explanation for why Julia started dating Sean instead, and NOWHERE (or at least to my knowledge) do they actually tell you why Sean and Christian practically hate each other now. Therefore, like any true fangirl would, I speculated. ^^;
He wanted what they had back. Hell, he probably didn’t deserve it- he was a bastard, and proud of it, too. But he was trying, for Sean, because while he was straight and he absolutely did not want to sleep with him, but he still wanted the friendship back.
Methinks the man doth protest too much, a niggling voice piped up in the back of him mind, and Christian sighed. He hated himself, sometimes.
Ever notice that Christian seems to be putting more effort in on the getting-back-to-where-they-were front than Sean? Er, maybe that was just me. Or maybe that's because Christian has to make up for being a complete prat. *shrug*
Yes, okay. He could admit that there had been moments of sexual tension between them, both recently and in the past. He could admit that Sean had turned him on sometimes, like when they kissed. Christian winced as he recalled the fight after Sean’s “mid-life crisis”, where he had been torn between decking the fucker and jumping him. Okay, so maybe Sean still turned him on sometimes.
Good god that was the slashiest moment ever. I mean, Sean has run away from his wife, they’re alone in an apartment together, Christian is REALLY pissed off and there is SO much tension. I really did expect Christian to jump Sean. *sigh* Pity, that.
The point was, it didn’t mean anything. Sean had sometimes joked that Christian could get turned on by a bloody rock if he stared at it long enough, and hey, was it his fault he had a sensual nature? He could be attracted to anything. Didn’t matter so long as he had no desire to act on it. He was still straight.
Christian is such a slut. You know it’s true.
He carefully ignored the fact that Julia and the prostitute had done nothing for him, that Sean had. He especially ignored the fact that he actually did have the desire to act on his attraction for Sean, because that was really dangerous.
Hm, yes. That whole scenario? VERY sus. Not turned on by beautiful women… accused of being gay… *suggestive look*
Throwing down another shot of vodka, Christian found that it was a lot harder to ignore the above than he thought it would be. If he was seriously contemplating sex with Sean as a good thing, he decided, then shit, he was definitely way too drunk.
He was reaching for the phone before he realised what he was doing, and started dialling while his brain caught up with the rest of him. This was a very, very bad idea, but he was completely pissed and he’d never been particularly good at self-restraint anyway, so why the hell not?
“Hello?” a woman answers, voice dry and sleepy. Julia. Christian should probably feel bad about waking her up at, what, 3 am? He’s never felt much of a need for a conscience, though. In fact, he feels vindictively fun for ruining her sleep. It’s her fault everything went wrong.
“Hey, Julia. Is Sean there?” Christian asked, or he thought he did, but it was probably a lot more incoherent than that.
Hee! Drunk-speech. *pause* Er, sorry about that.
Julia paused to translate this in her head, and sighed. She contemplated pointing out that it was hideously early in the morning or late at night, depending on your point of view, but he was drunk. It probably wouldn’t make much sense to him. “Hi Christian. I’ll just get him, hang on a second.”
Eventually, Sean picked up. “Christian? What’s wrong?” Less than five minutes, Christian marvelled. Sean must have thought it was an emergency.
Hell, things might have gotten rocky, but Sean would still jump to if he thought Christian was in deep shit. Too bad he wasn’t there in the beating-up moment. *shakes head*
“Hey Sean,” he slurred. “I wanted to talk to you.”
Short, disapproving pause. “You’re drunk.”
“Yeah,” Christian sniggered. “You should join me.”
“What the hell are you doing, Christian?” Sean muttered. “I can’t even remember the last time you got yourself this smashed.”
“You should try it,” Christian insisted. “C’mon, come over here and get drunk with me. Like old times.”
Sean was tempted, briefly, but there were a million and one reasons why it wasn’t a good thing to do, and he was pretty sure that Christian would be all right. “No, Christian. You should go sleep it off, you’re going to have a killer of a hangover in the morning.”
“I wanna fuck you,” Christian said, clearly as he was able.
This line, of course, was an instant stroke of genius. *deadpan* Seriously though, it’s my favourite line. Why? Because, well. We all know I’m just a twisted little fangirl at heart.
Sean froze, almost dropping the phone and glad he was sitting down. “What?”
“I. Want. To fuck you.” Christian repeated slowly.
Shit, this was surreal. Was he still asleep, having some kind of bizarre dream? “You’re straight.”
“Yeah. And I want to fuck you.”
He’d forgotten how single-minded a drunk Christian could be. “In case you’ve forgotten, Christian, I’m not a woman.”
Christian is a VERY selfish character. If he wanted something, I doubt he would give up easily.
“So? Don’t care. It was good between us when were kids. Be even better now.”
He just had to bring that up, didn’t he. “That was years ago! Everything is different now, and besides, you’re drunk. You don’t know what you want.” The bitterness had crept into the last part, despite Sean’s best efforts.
“It’s still there,” Christian purred, and Sean swallowed, finding his mouth dry. That was Christian on the prowl, out to seduce, and Sean had always managed to avoid being on the receiving end before. He didn’t want to be another notch on Christian’s bedpost, and he was suddenly glad that there was a phone line and a lot of distance between them.
Seductive Christian? FORCE OF NATURE.
“I know you can feel it too, Sean.”
Sean wished that Christian hadn’t drawn his name out like that, and was trying to remind himself exactly why he was not going to go over there and let Christian screw him. He was married, and okay, his marriage was failing, but… this was not the right train of thought. Even better reason: he wasn’t about to let Christian use him and dump him, because it would hurt.
“No. I don’t know what you’re talking about, Christian. Go to sleep.”
Christian smirked triumphantly. Sean’s voice wasn’t quite so steady as the other may have liked, and this worked to his advantage. “I know you want me.”
Sean gritted his teeth. “Whether I do or don’t is irrelevant. I’m married, you’re straight, and you’re also incredibly inebriated. I’m hanging up now, Christian. I’ll see you in the morning, and I hope your hangover makes you suffer. Good bye.”
Slamming the phone down on the hook, Sean glared at it for a second before wiping a hand wearily across his eyes. If he didn’t know what Christian was like, if he didn’t know that he’d have forgotten about it in the wake of his self-induced pain, then maybe he would be afraid. Christian was like a wild cat when it came to seduction, stalking his prey before pouncing at the least expected moment, and he always won. He always dropped his victim the morning after, too.
Methinks Christian’s got a complex. Actually, we already knew that. Now it’s time for me to say, “ooh! Ooh! Sean’s got a complex too, look, he doesn’t want to get hurt!”
…. Ok. Shutting up, now.
Just as well for Sean that he was spared that fate, and why was it so hard to convince himself?
“Bastard,” he murmured, entirely without conviction.
Staring blankly at the phone ringing engaged in his hand, Christian blinked and slowly started to grin. If Sean wanted to put up a fight, that was fine with him. Or maybe it would be, if Christian were at all likely to go for the hunt.
He knew they wouldn’t talk about it tomorrow. He’d regret it in the morning, he was almost certain, and after he regained his common sense, he’d probably freak out. Drunk as he was, he thought that was a pity.
Too bad sober meant straight, because chasing Sean would be fun. Nothing else was a challenge, anymore.
Still… there was always a chance that maybe one day he’d do something about it.
Maybe.
Well, to be realistic, obviously sober Christian is not going to be so in on the Sean-stalking. However, I didn’t want a completely depressing ending, so I added in that last line. Besides, I do think they’d get together. Eventually. After several bucket-fulls of angst. Just not yet.
Um. Yes. That’s it. The end?
Right, so as always, one starts with the beginning. The beginning, in creative cases, being the inspiration. I had less time to think of a plot for this one because Eujar kept changing her mind about what fic she wanted, and her final decision, I believe, was “Nip.Tuck. Um. Or Cesare Borgia/Machiavelli.” Well. I did, in fact, begin to write the LATTER, as I had given up on Nip.Tuck and was quite sure I didn’t have the first idea when it came to fiction. SO:
“I feel like a holiday,” Cesare Borgia announced imperiously. “We’re off to Antwerp.”
“Why Antwerp?” Nicolo Machiavelli muttered. “I like Florence.”
Cesare rolled his eyes. “Yes, I know you like Florence. You really, really like Florence, I get the point. It wouldn’t be a holiday if we just stayed here, though.”
Machiavelli sighed. “Fine. Just to satisfy your whims, we’ll go on a holiday. You haven’t explained why Antwerp yet.”
Cesare shrugged with a smirk. “Think of the possibilities. Antwerp is a cultural centre; (end)
And that is all that got written before I realised that I had absolutely NO idea what the FUCK I was doing. About the time I stopped to stare blankly at the screen, I remembered Eugenie telling me about the “you like boys” episode, and suddenly inspiration hit. Screw Cesare/Machiavelli, I thought firmly. Let’s do something where I’m not making it up as I go along. So I decided to write a vaguely AU fic where something had happened after the whole “you like boys” moment. And... well, this is the result.
“You like boys.”
Knocking back the last of his vodka faster than was wise, Christian flopped backwards onto his bed with a scowl. Him, like boys? Bullshit. He was a playboy, dammit. He had slept with how many gorgeous women? Christian did not do guys.
Well, except for once or twice, but you could hardly blame him. He was drunk, it was dark, they were feminine…
This wasn’t just justification. Really.
He didn’t know where that bitch of a prostitute got off saying things like that to him. Last time he’d checked, it wasn’t the way to get on a guy’s good side. Besides, it had nothing to do with him. The only reason he couldn’t get it up was because she was ugly as sin, which was the biggest lie he’d ever heard, and he shouldn’t get drunk because it led to all the wrong kinds of thoughts, like the time with Julia.
Ok. Now an important thing to remember here is that I am totally BULLSHITTING. I have not seen this episode, and I’m going totally on Eugenie’s masterful synopsis. Er… did it work? *grin*
He couldn’t think straight, and that was exactly the wrong wording, because all his thoughts were running into each other in a steady stream and he couldn’t help but remember when Julia had said the same thing.
You may notice an excess of run-on sentences here. No, my grammar has not just gone completely to pot; this was intentional. Really. Stop looking at me like that! But whichever way, the run-on sentences are supposed to reflect the way Christian’s thoughts are flowing into each other in his drunken state, and how he isn’t really in control of his thoughts right now.
“You like boys, don’t you?”
Which had struck the exact wrong chord in him, because it was really bad timing. He’d been friends with Sean forever, it sometimes seemed, and Sean knew Christian better than any other person. Not like now. They still knew everything about each other but they were always fighting, almost hating each other half the time.
He could practically pinpoint the moment when things had started to go downhill. Was it when he and Sean had kissed after a drunken celebration over getting good marks? He had freaked a bit afterwards, because he was straight, he was straight and he wasn’t going to be like that old bastard and don’t think about that.
Ah, reference to Christian’s sexually abusive past. Come on, you know it had to be in here somewhere. Nip.Tuck is only SO far from original fanfiction, I swear. And I don’t care that that is a contradiction in terms. *grin*
That was why he shouldn’t get drunk- he did things he shouldn’t do and thought things he didn’t want to think. They hadn’t talked about it, though, and it was all okay until Julia said what she did.
He’d all but physically shoved Sean away from him, dropped Julia like a hot potato and pushed the two of them together. Julia had been annoyed but she got over it. Sean was a much more considerate boyfriend than Christian, after all. Sean, on the other hand, had been hurt and confused. No big deal, right? Sean would survive, and if it created a little distance between them so much the better. Guys weren’t meant to be that close.
He didn’t care seeing them together, either. Didn’t bother him at all.
So okay, what was up with that whole thing? You can see that Sean and Christian were bestest best friends in the good old days. You know that Julia dated Christian before she dated Sean. But NOWHERE is there any explanation for why Julia started dating Sean instead, and NOWHERE (or at least to my knowledge) do they actually tell you why Sean and Christian practically hate each other now. Therefore, like any true fangirl would, I speculated. ^^;
He wanted what they had back. Hell, he probably didn’t deserve it- he was a bastard, and proud of it, too. But he was trying, for Sean, because while he was straight and he absolutely did not want to sleep with him, but he still wanted the friendship back.
Methinks the man doth protest too much, a niggling voice piped up in the back of him mind, and Christian sighed. He hated himself, sometimes.
Ever notice that Christian seems to be putting more effort in on the getting-back-to-where-they-were front than Sean? Er, maybe that was just me. Or maybe that's because Christian has to make up for being a complete prat. *shrug*
Yes, okay. He could admit that there had been moments of sexual tension between them, both recently and in the past. He could admit that Sean had turned him on sometimes, like when they kissed. Christian winced as he recalled the fight after Sean’s “mid-life crisis”, where he had been torn between decking the fucker and jumping him. Okay, so maybe Sean still turned him on sometimes.
Good god that was the slashiest moment ever. I mean, Sean has run away from his wife, they’re alone in an apartment together, Christian is REALLY pissed off and there is SO much tension. I really did expect Christian to jump Sean. *sigh* Pity, that.
The point was, it didn’t mean anything. Sean had sometimes joked that Christian could get turned on by a bloody rock if he stared at it long enough, and hey, was it his fault he had a sensual nature? He could be attracted to anything. Didn’t matter so long as he had no desire to act on it. He was still straight.
Christian is such a slut. You know it’s true.
He carefully ignored the fact that Julia and the prostitute had done nothing for him, that Sean had. He especially ignored the fact that he actually did have the desire to act on his attraction for Sean, because that was really dangerous.
Hm, yes. That whole scenario? VERY sus. Not turned on by beautiful women… accused of being gay… *suggestive look*
Throwing down another shot of vodka, Christian found that it was a lot harder to ignore the above than he thought it would be. If he was seriously contemplating sex with Sean as a good thing, he decided, then shit, he was definitely way too drunk.
He was reaching for the phone before he realised what he was doing, and started dialling while his brain caught up with the rest of him. This was a very, very bad idea, but he was completely pissed and he’d never been particularly good at self-restraint anyway, so why the hell not?
“Hello?” a woman answers, voice dry and sleepy. Julia. Christian should probably feel bad about waking her up at, what, 3 am? He’s never felt much of a need for a conscience, though. In fact, he feels vindictively fun for ruining her sleep. It’s her fault everything went wrong.
“Hey, Julia. Is Sean there?” Christian asked, or he thought he did, but it was probably a lot more incoherent than that.
Hee! Drunk-speech. *pause* Er, sorry about that.
Julia paused to translate this in her head, and sighed. She contemplated pointing out that it was hideously early in the morning or late at night, depending on your point of view, but he was drunk. It probably wouldn’t make much sense to him. “Hi Christian. I’ll just get him, hang on a second.”
Eventually, Sean picked up. “Christian? What’s wrong?” Less than five minutes, Christian marvelled. Sean must have thought it was an emergency.
Hell, things might have gotten rocky, but Sean would still jump to if he thought Christian was in deep shit. Too bad he wasn’t there in the beating-up moment. *shakes head*
“Hey Sean,” he slurred. “I wanted to talk to you.”
Short, disapproving pause. “You’re drunk.”
“Yeah,” Christian sniggered. “You should join me.”
“What the hell are you doing, Christian?” Sean muttered. “I can’t even remember the last time you got yourself this smashed.”
“You should try it,” Christian insisted. “C’mon, come over here and get drunk with me. Like old times.”
Sean was tempted, briefly, but there were a million and one reasons why it wasn’t a good thing to do, and he was pretty sure that Christian would be all right. “No, Christian. You should go sleep it off, you’re going to have a killer of a hangover in the morning.”
“I wanna fuck you,” Christian said, clearly as he was able.
This line, of course, was an instant stroke of genius. *deadpan* Seriously though, it’s my favourite line. Why? Because, well. We all know I’m just a twisted little fangirl at heart.
Sean froze, almost dropping the phone and glad he was sitting down. “What?”
“I. Want. To fuck you.” Christian repeated slowly.
Shit, this was surreal. Was he still asleep, having some kind of bizarre dream? “You’re straight.”
“Yeah. And I want to fuck you.”
He’d forgotten how single-minded a drunk Christian could be. “In case you’ve forgotten, Christian, I’m not a woman.”
Christian is a VERY selfish character. If he wanted something, I doubt he would give up easily.
“So? Don’t care. It was good between us when were kids. Be even better now.”
He just had to bring that up, didn’t he. “That was years ago! Everything is different now, and besides, you’re drunk. You don’t know what you want.” The bitterness had crept into the last part, despite Sean’s best efforts.
“It’s still there,” Christian purred, and Sean swallowed, finding his mouth dry. That was Christian on the prowl, out to seduce, and Sean had always managed to avoid being on the receiving end before. He didn’t want to be another notch on Christian’s bedpost, and he was suddenly glad that there was a phone line and a lot of distance between them.
Seductive Christian? FORCE OF NATURE.
“I know you can feel it too, Sean.”
Sean wished that Christian hadn’t drawn his name out like that, and was trying to remind himself exactly why he was not going to go over there and let Christian screw him. He was married, and okay, his marriage was failing, but… this was not the right train of thought. Even better reason: he wasn’t about to let Christian use him and dump him, because it would hurt.
“No. I don’t know what you’re talking about, Christian. Go to sleep.”
Christian smirked triumphantly. Sean’s voice wasn’t quite so steady as the other may have liked, and this worked to his advantage. “I know you want me.”
Sean gritted his teeth. “Whether I do or don’t is irrelevant. I’m married, you’re straight, and you’re also incredibly inebriated. I’m hanging up now, Christian. I’ll see you in the morning, and I hope your hangover makes you suffer. Good bye.”
Slamming the phone down on the hook, Sean glared at it for a second before wiping a hand wearily across his eyes. If he didn’t know what Christian was like, if he didn’t know that he’d have forgotten about it in the wake of his self-induced pain, then maybe he would be afraid. Christian was like a wild cat when it came to seduction, stalking his prey before pouncing at the least expected moment, and he always won. He always dropped his victim the morning after, too.
Methinks Christian’s got a complex. Actually, we already knew that. Now it’s time for me to say, “ooh! Ooh! Sean’s got a complex too, look, he doesn’t want to get hurt!”
…. Ok. Shutting up, now.
Just as well for Sean that he was spared that fate, and why was it so hard to convince himself?
“Bastard,” he murmured, entirely without conviction.
Staring blankly at the phone ringing engaged in his hand, Christian blinked and slowly started to grin. If Sean wanted to put up a fight, that was fine with him. Or maybe it would be, if Christian were at all likely to go for the hunt.
He knew they wouldn’t talk about it tomorrow. He’d regret it in the morning, he was almost certain, and after he regained his common sense, he’d probably freak out. Drunk as he was, he thought that was a pity.
Too bad sober meant straight, because chasing Sean would be fun. Nothing else was a challenge, anymore.
Still… there was always a chance that maybe one day he’d do something about it.
Maybe.
Well, to be realistic, obviously sober Christian is not going to be so in on the Sean-stalking. However, I didn’t want a completely depressing ending, so I added in that last line. Besides, I do think they’d get together. Eventually. After several bucket-fulls of angst. Just not yet.
Um. Yes. That’s it. The end?
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2004-01-28 04:26 am (UTC)Seductive Christian? FORCE OF NATURE.
AMEN TO THAT. your commentary rocks. and that aborted machiavelli/cesare could work as a drabble, if you changed the ending. or even better, send it to me and i'll write the rest as a thank you fic! <+|:D
no subject
Date: 2004-01-28 07:34 am (UTC)