(no subject)

[tammaiya]

"Jesus died to forgive our sins. Dare we make his martyrdom meaningless by not committing them?"

"Honesty is the best policy, but insanity is a better defense."

"There are three stages of a man's life: When he believes in Santa Claus, when he doesn't believe in Santa Claus, and when he is Santa Claus."

"There is no clearer manifestation of pure evil than teachers giving assignments over holiday breaks."
-James Halloran

"I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by."
-Douglas Adams

"Don't knock the weather; nine-tenths of the people couldn't start a conversation if it didn't change once in a while."
-Kin Hubbard

"When you are courting a nice girl an hour seems like a second. When you sit on a red-hot cinder a second seems like an hour. That's relativity."
-Albert Einstein

"Once at a social gathering, Gladstone said to Disraeli, 'I predict, Sir, that you will die either by hanging or of some vile disease.' Disraeli replied, 'That all depends, sir, upon whether I embrace your principles or your mistress.'"

"Reader, suppose you were an idiot. And suppose you were a member of Congress. But I repeat myself."
-Mark Twain

"Never put off until tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow."
-Mark Twain

"No one will ever win the battle of the sexes; there's too much fraternizing with the enemy."
-Henry Kissinger

"If we do not succeed, then we run the risk of failure."
-Dan Quayle

"I believe in making the world safe for our children, but not our children's children, because I don't think children should be having sex."
-Jack Handey

"Confidence is the feeling you sometimes have before you fully understand the situation."

"The supreme irony of life is hardly anyone ever gets out of it alive."
-Robert Heinlein

"I don't want to achieve immortality through my work. I want to achieve it through not dying."
-Woody Allen