My poor mind.
Jun. 20th, 2004 12:46 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
tammaiyaI don't NEED YnM and CCS setting up shop in my brain, thank you! There's already enough voices in there as there is! *whine* I don't need random shit that wants to be written waking me up at 2 am, either.
You know, if I were anyone else I might worry about the voices in my head. *grin*
She's not real, and though she can fool those around her she can never truly fool herself. She exists, yes, but at the same time she is nothing but a fake. Nothing she gives is real; she gives and she gives and she gives, but even when she gives 'til she has nothing left to give, her gifts are worthless, beautiful meaningless fabrications woven together from dreams. They flitter away when one tries to grasp at them, for like her they are not real, merely the lie that people want to believe.
It is easy to believe those sweet little lies, the false reality that presents cold comfort. She is what they want her to be, because they need to believe and she needs to let them. The lies are complex, intricate, a web of deceipt spiralling from the most basic of false premises: who she is. The person they love doesn't exist; she is no one, for she is not real, but she deludes those around her that she is the beautiful if damaged person they desire. She even manages to delude herself, sometimes; she knows that she is nothing she pretends to be, that the contradictory faces she shows are all just shadows, imitations, but it is so very tempting to fall into the honeyed trap of her own pretty lies.
She is like a photograph, a two-dimensional representation of something real. Everyone knows the camera never tells the truth- a mere image will always be inferior, because it lacks the vitality that gives things and people their meaning. Perhaps it is lovely, sometimes even moreso than what it shows, but it isn't real. It can never match the original.
Photos are memories, reminders of people or places or moments that you can't return to, and they are what you turn to when you want a substitute for something you can't have, nothing more. If one were given the choice between relieving the moment whenever they wished and retaining a picture of it, none would hesitate to choose the former. After all, a photo isn't real.
It's like a child playing with a toy. They pretend it's a puppy and maybe they are content, but at the end of the day it's still only a soft toy. It can't return the child's affection and it can't do anything unless the child makes it.
She's nothing but a doll, a pretty, lifeless facade. Isn't she beautiful? Play with her, dress her up and make believe she's real. She'll be anything you want her to be, and it doesn't matter if she breaks- dolls can be fixed.
She smiles sweetly and they all love her, but she is still only a doll. She'll be anything they want her to be... but it's only an illusion.
“So, having fun pining?” Cerberus asked idly, rolling over to bask in the glow from the fireplace.
Yue started, almost dropping his book in the process. “Excuse me?”
Cerberus made a noise that was somewhere between a growl and a laugh, and it took Yue a second to realise that the Sun guardian was sniggering. “You’ve been reading the same page for twenty minutes.”
“So?” Yue asked defensively. “Maybe it’s a difficult book.”
Cerberus treated him to an amused and incredulous raise of the eyebrow. “Yue admitting he’s not good at something? I never thought I’d see the day. Unfortunately for you, I already know you’re a fast reader.”
Yue glared at him but did not deign to answer, instead turning the page over viciously and pretending to return to the reading that he had not, in fact, been doing.
“Generally it helps to move your eyes when you read,” Cerberus said helpfully after a few minutes had elapsed.
“Not that you’d know,” Yue snapped. “Given you can’t read.” Still, trying to read wasn’t achieving anything, and stubborn though he was he’d had enough of Cerberus’s snide comments for the evening. Slamming the book shut, he thumped it down on the coffee table and glared venomously at the smug lion. “Alright, Cerberus, what do you want?”
“Did I ever say I wanted anything?” Cerberus asked innocently.
Yue narrowed his eyes. “If not, then why are you bothering me?”
“Because it’s fun,” Cerberus answered evilly, then quickly continued when the look Yue was giving darkened to something rather more murderous. “And because you need someone to distract you from your pining.”
“I’m not pining,” Yue hissed, curling up self-consciously into his arm-chair.
“Of course not,” Cerberus answered sarcastically. “Which is why you keep looking up in case Clow has returned.”
Yue twitched and gritted his teeth. “I’ve got no idea what you’re talking about, you stupid overgrown kitten.”
“Yue, you couldn’t be more unintentionally obvious if you tried,” Cerberus told him sweetly.
Yue treated him to a withering look. “Of course not, idiot. You can’t try to be unintentionally anything.”
“Whatever,” Cerberus answered dismissively, waving a paw to emphasise his point. “You’re still glaringly obvious.”
Yue fought down the slight rising panic and sniffed. “About what?”
“Clow.”
Flinch. Yue wasn’t quite so unreadable as he liked to pretend.
“Don’t worry, though,” Cerberus added. “We all know Clow’s practically blind in all senses of the words.” He paused. “Actually, that might make for good blackmail material…”
“I think I’m going to kill you now,” Yue said calmly, and slid out of his chair.
When Clow returned, he was very confused to find his Moon guardian attempting to strangle his Sun guardian.
“… Yue?”
Yue almost jumped, and Cerberus made that bizarre sniggering noise again, prompting Yue to tighten his grip. “… yes, Master?”
“What are you-”
Cerberus opened his mouth and Yue snapped it shut again with his hands. “Nothing, Master.”
Clow blinked, rather confused. “Ah… right. Well, I’ll just… be in my study, then.”
He turned around and vacated the room, cloak swirling behind him. Yue let out a relieved sigh.
“So I take it you’ll be doing my chores tomorrow?” Cerberus asked with renewed interest.
“I hate you,” Yue muttered, and left to find Clow.
... I need a life.
You know, if I were anyone else I might worry about the voices in my head. *grin*
She's not real, and though she can fool those around her she can never truly fool herself. She exists, yes, but at the same time she is nothing but a fake. Nothing she gives is real; she gives and she gives and she gives, but even when she gives 'til she has nothing left to give, her gifts are worthless, beautiful meaningless fabrications woven together from dreams. They flitter away when one tries to grasp at them, for like her they are not real, merely the lie that people want to believe.
It is easy to believe those sweet little lies, the false reality that presents cold comfort. She is what they want her to be, because they need to believe and she needs to let them. The lies are complex, intricate, a web of deceipt spiralling from the most basic of false premises: who she is. The person they love doesn't exist; she is no one, for she is not real, but she deludes those around her that she is the beautiful if damaged person they desire. She even manages to delude herself, sometimes; she knows that she is nothing she pretends to be, that the contradictory faces she shows are all just shadows, imitations, but it is so very tempting to fall into the honeyed trap of her own pretty lies.
She is like a photograph, a two-dimensional representation of something real. Everyone knows the camera never tells the truth- a mere image will always be inferior, because it lacks the vitality that gives things and people their meaning. Perhaps it is lovely, sometimes even moreso than what it shows, but it isn't real. It can never match the original.
Photos are memories, reminders of people or places or moments that you can't return to, and they are what you turn to when you want a substitute for something you can't have, nothing more. If one were given the choice between relieving the moment whenever they wished and retaining a picture of it, none would hesitate to choose the former. After all, a photo isn't real.
It's like a child playing with a toy. They pretend it's a puppy and maybe they are content, but at the end of the day it's still only a soft toy. It can't return the child's affection and it can't do anything unless the child makes it.
She's nothing but a doll, a pretty, lifeless facade. Isn't she beautiful? Play with her, dress her up and make believe she's real. She'll be anything you want her to be, and it doesn't matter if she breaks- dolls can be fixed.
She smiles sweetly and they all love her, but she is still only a doll. She'll be anything they want her to be... but it's only an illusion.
“So, having fun pining?” Cerberus asked idly, rolling over to bask in the glow from the fireplace.
Yue started, almost dropping his book in the process. “Excuse me?”
Cerberus made a noise that was somewhere between a growl and a laugh, and it took Yue a second to realise that the Sun guardian was sniggering. “You’ve been reading the same page for twenty minutes.”
“So?” Yue asked defensively. “Maybe it’s a difficult book.”
Cerberus treated him to an amused and incredulous raise of the eyebrow. “Yue admitting he’s not good at something? I never thought I’d see the day. Unfortunately for you, I already know you’re a fast reader.”
Yue glared at him but did not deign to answer, instead turning the page over viciously and pretending to return to the reading that he had not, in fact, been doing.
“Generally it helps to move your eyes when you read,” Cerberus said helpfully after a few minutes had elapsed.
“Not that you’d know,” Yue snapped. “Given you can’t read.” Still, trying to read wasn’t achieving anything, and stubborn though he was he’d had enough of Cerberus’s snide comments for the evening. Slamming the book shut, he thumped it down on the coffee table and glared venomously at the smug lion. “Alright, Cerberus, what do you want?”
“Did I ever say I wanted anything?” Cerberus asked innocently.
Yue narrowed his eyes. “If not, then why are you bothering me?”
“Because it’s fun,” Cerberus answered evilly, then quickly continued when the look Yue was giving darkened to something rather more murderous. “And because you need someone to distract you from your pining.”
“I’m not pining,” Yue hissed, curling up self-consciously into his arm-chair.
“Of course not,” Cerberus answered sarcastically. “Which is why you keep looking up in case Clow has returned.”
Yue twitched and gritted his teeth. “I’ve got no idea what you’re talking about, you stupid overgrown kitten.”
“Yue, you couldn’t be more unintentionally obvious if you tried,” Cerberus told him sweetly.
Yue treated him to a withering look. “Of course not, idiot. You can’t try to be unintentionally anything.”
“Whatever,” Cerberus answered dismissively, waving a paw to emphasise his point. “You’re still glaringly obvious.”
Yue fought down the slight rising panic and sniffed. “About what?”
“Clow.”
Flinch. Yue wasn’t quite so unreadable as he liked to pretend.
“Don’t worry, though,” Cerberus added. “We all know Clow’s practically blind in all senses of the words.” He paused. “Actually, that might make for good blackmail material…”
“I think I’m going to kill you now,” Yue said calmly, and slid out of his chair.
When Clow returned, he was very confused to find his Moon guardian attempting to strangle his Sun guardian.
“… Yue?”
Yue almost jumped, and Cerberus made that bizarre sniggering noise again, prompting Yue to tighten his grip. “… yes, Master?”
“What are you-”
Cerberus opened his mouth and Yue snapped it shut again with his hands. “Nothing, Master.”
Clow blinked, rather confused. “Ah… right. Well, I’ll just… be in my study, then.”
He turned around and vacated the room, cloak swirling behind him. Yue let out a relieved sigh.
“So I take it you’ll be doing my chores tomorrow?” Cerberus asked with renewed interest.
“I hate you,” Yue muttered, and left to find Clow.
... I need a life.
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2004-06-19 08:11 pm (UTC)...the first two times I read that I could have sworn it said 'pimping'.
It's cute. You know you want to make it a horrible long fic. *tempts*
no subject
Date: 2004-06-19 08:14 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-06-19 08:27 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-06-19 10:57 pm (UTC)And *please* make it into a long fic. *suggestive smile in Shivvy's direction* COME ONE, you know you want to. :D
no subject
Date: 2004-06-20 01:38 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-06-19 08:31 pm (UTC)Read the story-bits - interesting, but I've no fandom context so I'm not gonna try advanced commentary.
Y'know, perhaps Adrian should actually post something instead of comment-dropping all the time. ::poke::
no subject
Date: 2004-06-20 01:37 am (UTC)As for Ade... I might, eventually, but am faced with complete and utter lack of inspiration there for the moment. Ade has deserted me except for replying to people. --;
no subject
Date: 2004-06-22 02:57 am (UTC)SQUEE~!!
no subject
Date: 2004-06-22 03:16 am (UTC)