(no subject)

[tammaiya]

I suck. I've been all depressed and anti-social and cranky recently, and I keep pushing people away. I can't help it- most of the time I need to be close to people or I get lonely, but sometimes, (ie now) I start feeling all claustrophobic and trapped. It makes me panic.
On top of the personal NON-crisis (it's so pathetic it doesn't even warrent being called a crisis), all this work has suddenly mysteriously heaped itself upon me. It facilitates my avoiding people, prime example being that I actually spent lunch doing work. Granted, I really did NEED to do work, but generally I wouldn't let that affect me. ^ ^;
I screwed my 3rd IT assignment royally, too. I hate me.

Comments

[izumihydra.livejournal.com]

i understand the avoiding people thingy.
i refuse to talk to ANYONE unless i absolutely have to, always walking to classes on my own on a good day. on a bad day...
possibly we're both afraid of affection. i mean, i want to be loved and stuf, but i'm also kinda afraid of getting to close to anyone. does this sound familiar to you?

Re:

[tammaiya.livejournal.com]

Yeah, actually. Like, a fear that if you get too close to someone, either they'll hurt you or you'll want out and you'll be trapped.

Re:

[izumihydra.livejournal.com]

DING!
i've sorta learnt to rely on myself now. directly after being nice to anybody, or getting on well with someone, i begin to avoid them, "show them i don't really care." even though i do.
ridiculous, but possibly a result of constant rejection by everyone years 5-8.
good to know i'm not alone with my social disorder.

Re:

[tammaiya.livejournal.com]

*nods* Yeah, exactly. Except I got rejected from kindergarten onwards.

[merioneth.livejournal.com]

argg. i be familliar with the year 11 uselessness and self hate syndrome. i can't offer you much advice except it will pass, and you'll discover a heap of things about yourself and other people on the way. that's what happened to me, and i think i'm much happier now for it ...