tammaiya | (no subject)

The S/S porn Kelsey and I wrote is UP! Go read it! And if you need any incentive, here is the OOC commentary! (Complete with hilarious penny-arcade subtitles added in by Kelsey in a spree of bored brilliance!) Though it will be more funny and make more sense AFTER reading the fic. Just so you know. :D

Title: Overtime OOC Commentary
by Kelsey & Tammaiya

Why Indeed
Kattaiya: erm. why is Seishirou pr0nning onto Subaru in the first place? aside from the obvious "Subaru is hot" and "he wants to" I mean.

He Really Can't
KelseyML: *laughs*
"GOD DAMN IT STOP BEING SEXY AT ME."
";_; But Subaru-kun, I can't help it."

No One Expects This
KelseyML: The Spanish Inquisition is vitally interested in stopping S&S pr0n? Bastards.

Fuuma Causes Nothing But Trouble
Seishirou: I do not... whine. I sulk. With dignity.
Subaru: *sweatdrop* Seishirou-san, there is no such thing as dignified sulking. *pause* Wait, what's this about me in a bathrobe? *turns neon red*
Seishirou: *aggravated* You never seduce me, Subaru-kun. *tragic sigh* What if all the magic has gone out of our relationship? I think you need to emerge from the shower, put on your bathrobe, and let me ravish you.
Subaru: S-Seishirou-san! *looks like he is about to pass out from too much blood to the head*
Seishirou: *musing* Or I suppose I could always ravish you IN the shower...
Subaru: *flails* Seishirou-san, NO! Did it ever occur to you that I might not be in the mood right n--nngh oh god.
Seishirou: Why, no, it didn't! :D
Subaru: Nnnnnngh. *melts*
Seishirou: To the shower! :3
Subaru: *twitch* It will take too long for the water to warm up.
Seishirou: But--
Subaru: RIGHT HERE, RIGHT NOW, SEISHIROU-SAN.
Seishirou: In the middle of the kitchen?
Subaru: YES.
Seishirou: Okay!
--5 minutes later--
Doorbell: Ding dong! :D
Seishirou: Just ignore it--
Subaru: *anguish* No, I have to get it, I'm expecting a package... *weaves off to the door* *opens*
Fuuma: *eyes him up and down* >:3
Subaru: ... What are you doing here?
Fuuma: I was here to see my angel, actually. >D
Subaru: *flash of jealousy* He's not here.
Seishirou: *appears next to Subaru* And he's busy. :D *snags Subaru into a snog and tries to kick the door shut*
Subaru: *whimpercling* *shoves his tongue down Seishirou's throat* *MINE*
Seishirou: *entirely distracted*
Fuuma: *toes open the door VERY QUIETLY with his shoe and watches* :9
Seishirou: ... *breaks off kiss* No, you may NOT join in.
Fuuma: You're so mean to me.
Seishirou: Ah, but I'm very nice to Subaru-kun. :3
Subaru: *chokes* *neon red*
Fuuma: *amused* I'm sure you are. Anyway, I was hoping you wanted to go out for ice cream, but I can see you... have company.
Subaru: *blinks* Wait... did he just say... *upset* You haven't been dating him, have you?
Seishirou: *distinctly pained* Subaru-kun, why would I ever want to date anyone other than you?
Subaru: Because you don't love me? Because they're more attractive than me? *angst*
Seishirou: *hates on the UNIVERSE* I love you very much and NO ONE is more attractive than you. Go away, Fuuma.
Fuuma: But then I'd miss more touching scenes like this one. ;;
Subaru: *angsting* But how can I be attractive, much less to someone like YOU? I'm just me...
Seishirou: Subaru-kun. I am TELLING you that you are a beautiful man.
Subaru: *ANGST* YOU ONLY LOVE ME FOR MY LOOKS.
Seishirou: *contemplates killing Fuuma*
Subaru: And you still haven't explained the ice-cream thing! *wail*
Seishirou: It's not like that! You take Kamui out, don't you? *pause* Unless... *goes into hulkSMASH mode* >F
Subaru: *panicking* Don't kill Kamui! He's like a younger brother to me!
Fuuma: *mutter* Yeah, a younger brother with a CRUSH on you.
Seishirou: *too calmly* Where is Kamui?
Subaru: SEISHIROU-SAN! NO!
Seishirou: *very upset* It doesn't matter if he's like a younger brother to you! In fact, quite frankly that is even MORE suspicious!
Subaru: ... what? o.o
Seishirou: You could just be telling yourself it's brotherly love!
Subaru: *cough, blush* Seishirou-san, I dont like... younger men. Or any other men at all, in fact. You sort of got to me first and never let go.
Seishirou: BUT KAMUI DOESN'T KNOW THIS.
Subaru: Actually--
Seishirou: WE NEED TO FIND KAMUI. NOW.
Fuuma: I'm right here. TT
Seishirou: *grabs nearby frying pan* *SLAM*
Subaru: ... o.o .........my hero. <3333
Kattaiya: *DIES*
And Subaru and Seishirou shag happily ever after without exploring Seishirou's incestuous tendencies and/or whether he is Kamui's father in this log too. Fuuma and Kamui may or may not have ended up shagging; quite frankly, Seishirou couldn't care less. The end!
KelseyML: BWAHAHAHA and they all lived happily ever after.
So! Wanna get back to smutting? :3

Some Like It Hot
KelseyML: uh-oh. the Subaru in my head is PISSED ;;
Kattaiya: yay! angry sex! er, I mean...

Going for the Gymnastic Gold
KelseyML: You and your acrobatic sex. :P And sorry for the long pause, I got distracted XD;

Obligatory Subaru Fangirling
KelseyML: annnnnd Seishirou's brain melts now X3
Kattaiya: mine does too XD
KelseyML: GOD Subaru can be so unconsciously sexy
Kattaiya: *incoherent gurgle of affirmation*

Notify the Dictionary
Kattaiya: even yayer!
Kattaiya: ...
Kattaiya: *creates a word*

She's Got the Power
KelseyML: DRINK TEA!
Kattaiya: *peacefully* I like tea.
Kattaiya: ........ I'M YUUTO! OH NOEZ!

Psychoanalysis
Kattaiya: Seishirou really is just a sadist. Sorry, Subaru.
KelseyML: Haha, yeah, poor boy. XD But God, you'd think Seishirou would want to get off by now, too.
Kattaiya: Yes, but I think he gets off on this PSYCHOLOGICALLY. XD
KelseyML: This is true. XD Poor, poor Subaru.

The Lady is Right
Kattaiya: you know what needs to be a colourbar? "Seishirou as Kamui's father is cracklove!"

A Dish Best Served Naked
KelseyML: this is very SEXY revenge, of course XD

Oh Em Gee
KelseyML: *DIES* SEISHIROU. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Kattaiya: He's jealous. Subaru loves his work more than he loves him! XD
No, really? I do not know. I think I need a lobotomy. Seishirou and I can go together. *headdesk*

My Ass Hurts When I Sit Down
KelseyML: Hahahaha GOD the image of Subaru calling in sick because of sex-related aches is hilarious.
Kattaiya: god, imagine if this was during 99. "Yeah, hi. Um. About that. No, I can't guard the Kekkai. No, I'm SORRY, but I can't! Why? Er... *blush* Yes, I'm still here. Sorry, Kamui. I'm sick! No, I'm all right- well, okay, not all right. I WILL be all right. No, it's not a cold, I just... no, really, it's okay. I'm just sore. From... from... *helpless look at Seishirou, who steals the phone*"
KelseyML: "Hello, Kamui. *winces, holds phone away from ear* *screaming is heard, eventually stops* *calmly* No, I did not do anything to him. Well. Anything he didn't want me to. *smirks* No, that is not too much information. Too much information would be tell you what Subaru looks like when he--*Subaru steals the phone*"
Kattaiya: "JUST IGNORE EVERYTHING HE SAID. He hasn't brainwashed me! No, he isn't doing anything funny to- *BLUSH* ... w-well, um, y-yes but... that... He didn't do anything to me without my consent! *holds phone about a metre away from ear and cringes*

Special Guest Appearance
Kattaiya: *after brief explanation to Fahye*
Fahye says:
I hope subaru was in the kind of mood where that didn't make him die on the spot
Fahye says:
because then he'd have to wait for him to come round and all...

Setting the Boundaries
KelseyML: DEAR SEISHIROU, NO YOU MAY NOT GIVE SUBARU A BLOWJOB. TT *mallets him*

Question and Answer
Kattaiya: HAHAHAHA
Kattaiya: why is our porn turning funny? XD
KelseyML: because Seishirou had to run off his big mouth XD and Subaru has adorable knees.

Euphemisms
KelseyML: There is no graceful way to phrase what is about to happen next, damn it. TT
Kattaiya: Um, no. XD
KelseyML: *TRIES TO FIND ONE ANYWAY*
Kattaiya: *sniggers* good bloody luck.

A Pair of Voyeurs
KelseyML: *DIES*
KelseyML: *REPEATEDLY*
KelseyML: AND THE NEIGHBORS NOW KNOW MORE ABOUT S&S THAN THEY EVER WANTED TO. OR MAYBE WANTED TO.
Kattaiya: *dies laughing* they must have a high turnover of neighbours
KelseyML: Nah. I think word would get out to the yaoi fangirls fairly quickly. XD
Kattaiya: hahaha. yes, us! let's move the villa in spain to japan.
KelseyML: Works for me. XD

Hamlet Wondered the Same Thing
KelseyML: To orgasm or not to orgasm? :p That is the question.
Kattaiya: and a very good question. Hm. If he orgasms then we get saved from trying to think of tactful ways to say things?
KelseyML: And I am amused by one being brought on by Seishirou's sex face XD
Kattaiya: ... okay, that seals it.

Kelsey is the Queen of Bad Puns
KelseyML: The man knows what he wants. XD Especially if he has two weeks to think about it.
Kattaiya: yes. two weeks of stewing, wondering if maybe Subaru is getting bored of him and this is a subtle message or if Subaru has always put his work first... *g*
Kattaiya: SEISHIROU COMES SECOND TO NONE, GODDAMN.
KelseyML: Except to Subaru, at least as far as this smut is going. ;D *bad pun, BAD PUN*
Kattaiya: *BOOOOOOOOOO*
Kattaiya: that was terrible! *dies*
KelseyML: Bad puns crack my shit up, dawg :p yo. homie-g?

Tammaiya's Literary Devices Do Drugs
Kattaiya: I know. The bullet train is on speed and my metaphors are on crack. XD

THE END!