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Oct. 22nd, 2005 08:20 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
tammaiyaWell, I've finished Love Mode. I really liked that. <333 Does anyone have any more yaoi manga recommendations?
And for now, some FFVII crack, log-style. I wrote this years and years ago... with alterations, because there were certain things about it I wanted to change. ^~ This is just the first chapter, not that I even finished the second chapter. Maybe I will, who knows.
This is the one you were asking about, Eugenie.
CHAPTER ONE – INFILTRATION (PLAN B)
The group is sitting in a clearing in the forest. Yuffie is trying in vain to wheedle Vincent into giving her his materia. Barret is bugging Cloud. Cloud is happily oblivious to Tifa and Aeris’ attempts to get him to go on a date with them as he moons over Sephiroth. Zack is laughing at Cloud. Cid is tampering with the airship. Cait Sith is planning his latest escapade; Red XIII stands by and wonders if he ought to stop him, and Sephiroth is there making sarcastic comments because Zack was irritating him.
Y: Come on, just one hug? Pleeeeeeeeease?
V: … No.
Y: Don’t be mean! *whine*
V: …
Y: You’re no fun! *attempts to pounce*
V: … *leaves*
Y: *falls flat on face* Ooooooow. Damn it. *pause* Hey, wait, where’s my steal mater-- VINCENT! COME BACK HERE!
~
B: C’mon, Cloud, take me to the Gold Saucer!
C: No.
B: Take me!
C: NO.
B: TAKE ME!
C: NO! *whacks with flat side of sword*
B: *collapses dizzily* Damn… damn yo’… Damn ShinRA!
C: *sighs* Barret, go over there and talk to Cid.
B: Mutter… mutter… damn ShinRA…
Cid: Yeah, #%$*# ShinRA!
B: Exactly! ‘S all ShinRA’s fault!
C: … Shut up, Zack.
Z: What? I didn’t say anything! *smirk*
C: YOU WERE THINKING IT.
Z: What are you, the thought Nazi? It’s a free country.
C: *watching Sephiroth wistfully* No it’s not, it’s controlled by ShinRA.
Z: Details, details.
T: *jumping in Cloud’s line of vision* So, Cloud, what do you think of my dress?
C: *vaguely, going on tip-toes so he can still see Sephiroth* It’s… nice.
A: How does my hair look?
C: Um… nice.
Z: You know, ladies, he’s not going to get it, so how about you and me…
A: Shut up, Zack.
Z: That’s true love for you.
T: So how do I look, Cloud?
C: Huh? Nice, I guess. *willing Sephiroth to come back*
T: Cloud, are you even listening?
C: *dreamily* Don’t you think Sephiroth’s hair is really really pretty?
A + T: …
Z: *facepalm*
A: What is that psychopath even DOING here? He’s supposed to be dead!
Z: … So are we.
A: So?
C: *defensively* Sephiroth’s not a psychopath, he’s just… CONFUSED.
T: This is a lost cause, isn’t it.
Z: *pats back sympathetically, tries to cop feel at the same time*
T: *punches out*
C: Sephiroth… *heart*
~
Y: *following Vincent* I spy, with my little eye, something that, like, begins with M!
V: … Materia.
Y: Hey! How’d you guess?
V: *wonders why he has to be the one to baby-sit Yuffie* In every single word game we’ve played you’ve used ‘materia’.
Y: Fine, then! I spy, with my little eye, something that starts with F!
V: …
Y: Alright, I win! The answer is… FIRE MATERIA! *laughs hysterically*
V: … *contemplates killing her*
~
S: So tell me, robot cat, what ridiculous and inept scheme you are planning now. I’m dying to know, really.
CS: Let’s make fun of Rufus’s hair!
S: … What an astoundingly brilliant plan. I can see that is going to have an earth-shattering effect on the world at large.
CS: Oh, that was SO not funny. From now on, you refrain from wit, okay? You don’t do the wit, *I* do.
S: No you don’t. You try to, perhaps.
R13: Alright, both of you, quiet. From now on, I’m serious and boring, Cait Sith is witty and humorous, and Sephiroth is sarcastic and unhelpful. Got it?
CS: Sound fair to me.
S: Why are you all morons?
R13: See, it’s working already.
S: Uh huh. Sure, whatever. *thinking some fairly colourful thoughts about Cloud, occasionally interspersed by thoughts of murdering Zack slowly and painfully*
~
B: Yo, Cid, can I see your big pointy stick?
Cid: … What the #$%&?
B: Come on, man!
Cid: Okay, sure, whatever. %$#& freak.
B: Coo’, man! Hey, I just thought of somethin’! Let’s bomb damn ShinRA’s headquarters!
Cid: Hey, that IS a good plan. Let’s go bomb @#$&*( ShinRA’s headquarters!
Cid + B: *sneak toward the airship*
C: *without taking his eyes off Sephiroth* Where do you two think you’re going?
Cid: Well, y’see, the thing IS…
B: We gonna bomb damn ShinRA’s headquarters!
C: BARRET! How many times have I told you not to bomb ShinRA’s headquarters? And Cid, how many times have I told you to stop ENCOURAGING him?
Z: Aw, man, don’t be TOO hard on them. We used to do shit like that all the time back when we were training for SOLDIER together!
C: What’s this we? YOU did, you mean.
Z: And yet you’re the one who got spanked by Sephiroth…
C: *turns red* I… that… Shut up, Zack! *to B and Cid, who are playing tiddliwinks* WELL?
Cid: … I’ve lost $%&#* count.
B: Yeah, man, me too. So can we?
C: *has a headache* Can you what?
B: Bomb damn ShinRA’s headquarters!
C: NO.
B: C’mon…
C: NO! But… we’ll sneak in and wreak some havoc. Satisfied?
B: Yeah! Damn ShinRA!
CS: Can I make fun of Rufus’s hair? Can I, can I?
C: … All right.
CS: WHOO! *dances*
S: Oh, great. We’re going on a suicidal mission just so the cat can make fun of the ShinRA brat’s hair. How smart.
C: *depressed because Sephiroth mocked him*
Z: Psst, Seph!
S: *twitch* Shut up, Zack.
Z: Well, FINE, if you’re going to be like that. But you’ve totally upset the kid.
S: … *looks at Cloud’s kicked puppy look and feels guilty* Still, I’m sure it’ll be entertaining enough. *pats Cloud on head*
C: *brightens up*
T: … Did he just nuzzle Sephiroth’s hand? He did, didn’t he?
S: *pretends not to hear, looking off into space with affected boredom and not moving his hand*
T: …
Z: Don’t worry, you get used to it. They were always like this, and guess who had to share a dorm with Cloud? Jeez, man.
S: Shut up, Zack.
Z: Yessir.
C: *remembers where he is, clears throat* So, any other comments?
V: Is death the beginning of the end… or the end of the beginning?
All: ……
Cid: Vincent, what the #$&*?
V: … *shrug*
Y: Hey, Cloud, can I like, steal Government materia?
C: Uh… sure, whatever.
Y: YEAH!
S: *thoughtful* Strategically that’s a very good idea. I’m very proud of you, Cloud.
C: *blushes happily*
Y: Hey, whose idea was that anyway?
S: *ignores Yuffie, nuzzles Cloud’s head*
Z: Gag me with a spoon.
A: …
T: Did he just-- and-- ACK.
Z: What’d I tell you?
A: What? I didn’t see anything! *firmly in denial*
Z: *to Tifa* I can make it all better, baby--
T: *punches him*
Z: OW BY DOSE!
S: You deserved that, Zack.
C: Yeah, nyer. *sticks tongue out*
Z: Sob freds YOU are.
C: ANYWAY. Teams?
A+T: Hey, Cloud, can we go with you?
C: Uh… sure, I guess.
S: NO.
C: Huh? Why not?
S: *simmering murderously, arms possessively around Cloud’s shoulders*
R13: You really don’t get it, do you?
C: Get what?
All: *sigh*
C: What, what? I don’t get it!
R13: Never mind, Cloud. Never mind.
C: But--
S: It’s not important. *glares at Tifa and Aeris*
T: *sticks out tongue*
C: Well, if you say so. *settles back in Sephiroth’s arms*
All: *look at Zack expectantly*
Z: What? Oh, yeah. You guys are pathetic.
S: Zack, do you want to be cleaning the bathrooms for the next month?
Z: Hey, you can’t do that anymore! Anyway, everyone was waiting for me to say something smartarse, how could I disappoint them?
A: *piously* Just Say No.
Z: Hey, speaking of which…
A: *sweetly* Like this. NO, Zack. *punches in stomach*
Z: Ow, JESUS! *doubles over*
S: *stares with renewed respect* And I thought the other one was the tough one.
Z: *thinks blissful thoughts of Aeris and Tifa mud-wrestling*
C: Stop drooling before you drown yourself, Zack.
Cid: Hey, are we gonna infiltrate $%*& ShinRA’s headquarters or not?
B: Yeah! WHAT ABOUT MARLENE?!
All: …
R13: Barret, did that have any relevance whatsoever to the topic at hand?
B: Uh. No?
C: Right, let’s mosy!
Cid: STOP $&%*$ SAYING THAT!
~ On the airship ~
Y: 99 magic mateeeeeria, 99 magic materia! Steal one down an’ run around, 98 magic materia! 98--
V: *long-sufferingly* Run around?
Y: Hey, it rhymes, what’s your problem? 98 magic mateeeeeeria…
~
Cid: I $%&* LOVE flying.
B: Can I see your big pointy stick?
Cid: *stare* What is you #$&*@ OBSESSION with my WEAPON?!
B: Can I have it?
Cid: Barret, you really #$&#* scare me, you know?
B: Coo’, man!
Cid: Just… go sit in that corner and leave me the #&*# alone.
B: Yo. Damn ShinRA!
Cid: …
~
Y: 86 magic mateeeeeeriaaaa, 86 magic materia! Steal one down and run around, 85 magic materia!
V: *thinking* Why, God. Why me.
~
C: Sephiroth, what if we get caught?
S: *reassuringly* I’ll kill them all for you.
C: *big shiny eyes* Really?
S: Of course.
Z: *rolls eyes* Oi! Get a room!
S: *reaches out and slaps him hard upside the head without removing Cloud from his lap*
Z: Ow, SHIT! I think you hit me so hard my eyes are gonna fall out!
C: *smugly* Ha ha.
Z: Suck up.
C: *turns strangely red*
CS: *whines at Sephiroth* I’m BOOORED.
S: Then jump out of the airship.
CS: I don’t think Cloud would appreciate me going parachuting right now, would you Cloud? Hey, Cloud?
C: *asleep*
S: Did I mention anything about parachutes? If you keep bothering Cloud I’ll have no choice but to defenestrate you myself. REMOVE yourself.
CS: You’re so mean to me.
R13: Please, you sound like Yuffie.
CS: AAAH! *starts rubbing his arms and frantically spitting* So dirty… feel so dirty…
S: Aren’t you always?
CS: … Shut up.
~
Y: 72 magic mateeeeeeeriaaaa, 72--
V: How long is this going to take?
Y: ‘Til we get there, duh!
V: WHY.
Y: To help my airsickness, why’d’ya think?
V: … Carry on.
~
T: Where do you think YOU’RE going?
A: To talk to Cloud. Where are YOU going?
T: None of your business. Sephiroth’s in there, you know.
A: …
T: *sweetly* Why don’t you go talk to him instead? Since Cloud will be talking to ME.
A: Talk to SEPHIROTH? What are you, crazy?
T: You should resolve your differences.
A: He killed me! That’s a pretty big difference to get over!
T: I’m sure you can work it out. *shove* Go, go!
A: *sweatdrop*
~
Y: 65 magic mateeeeeeeriaaaa, 65--
V: Yuffie, if you do not stop singing in the next five seconds I’m afraid I will have no choice but to kill you.
Y: Well, like, FINE, then!
V: …
Y: *starts turning green* Urk.
V: …
Y: *throws up on Vincent*
V: *twitches and gets up to leave*
Cid: *from other room* Hey, you better be babysitting that %&*%$& klepto kid so she doesn’t steal any of my stuff!
V: *sits down and hates the universe*
~
S: …
A: Damn you, Sephiroth! What’d I ever do to you!
Z: Aside from horn in on his action?
A: Shut UP, Zack! *kicks him*
Z: OW. What the hell am I, a punching bag? I’m in an abusive relationship!
A: No you’re not, I broke up with you when you died.
Z: Hey, what? WHY!
A: Because you were stupid enough to get yourself killed by being shot. That’s just SAD, that is.
Z: …
S: You DATED this harpy?
Z: It seemed like a good idea at the time…?
S: *sigh* You ALWAYS think things seem like a good idea at the time.
Z: *defensively* Well they DO! And anyway, you wouldn’t let me within a ten foot radius of Cloud, so-- uh… you know, I’m shutting up now.
S: You do that.
A: Hello? ME time now!
S: What do you want? You’ll wake up Cloud.
A: As I was saying! Why’d you have to go and kill me!
S: What? That wasn’t me!
A: Oh yeah? Who was it, then?
S: Tifa!
A: TIFA! Why you rotten little…
C: *sleepily* Huh?
S: Shh, go back to sleep baby, Aeris is just about to pound on Tifa for killing her.
Z: *cheers silently for Tifa under his breath, still bitter about being dumped*
C: Tifa killed Aeris?
T: Cloud! Would I do I thing like that?
C: Oh. Well that’s okay then. *goes back to sleep*
T: Of course I would. I’m such evil brilliance! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA-- *falls off her chair backwards* OW!
A: *sniggers*
Z: *with shoujo sparkles* Hey, gorgeous. Are you o--
T: *punches*
Z: OW MY EYE!
S: *ignores them all*
CS: *wanders back in* Are we there yet?
S: No.
CS: Are we there yet?
S: NO.
CS: Are we there yet?
S: NO!
CS: Are we--
S: NO, now shut the fuck up before I slam you into a wall!
C: Mrrgh?
S: Look, you woke up Cloud. *dangerous glint*
Z: I’d go now while you still have a chance. Seph won’t get up with Cloud on his lap. Go, go! Save yourself!
CS: Will do! *scrams*
S: Hn.
~
Y: 53 magic mateeeeeria, 53 magic--
V: *resigned* How much longer until we get there?
Y: About half an hour. Why? 53 magic materia! Steal one down and--
V: *silently starts beating himself to death on the wall*
Y: Run around, 52-- hey, Vincy, are you okay?
V: *succeeds in knocking himself unconscious*
Y: Oh well! 52 magic materiaaaa…
~
CS: Are we there yet?
Cid: What the $%&*$ do you want, you stupid cat?
CS: I want to mock Rufus’s hair. I also want to know if we’re THERE YET.
Cid: NO, for-- wait.
CS: What?
Cid: We’re there.
CS: We are?
Cid: Isn’t that what you were ASKING? &%$&*!
CS: I was just doing that to be annoy-- okay, I’ll, uh, go now.
Cid: %&#$* OFF AND TELL THE OTHERS WE’RE THERE.
CS: KTHXBYE. *scrams again*
~
Y: 44 magic mateeeeeeeeriaaa, 44--
CS: Hey, Yuffie! We’re there!
Y: Cool! *kicks Vincent* Hey, VINCY! WAKE UP! We’re theeeee~eeeere!
V: Unngh? *wakes up* There…?
Y: Uh huh!
V: … you’re going to stop singing that song.
Y: Like, DUH. Of course-- Vincy, why are you kissing the floor? Hey, we’re going now! *drags Vincent to where the others are*
C: *still being cuddled by Sephiroth* Okay, here’s the plan…
B: Can I destroy damn ShinRA’s headquarters?
C: No. Now--
B: Please?
C: Look, we’ve already been through this. NO.
B: But--
C: NO! Okay, we sneak in, Yuffie steals materia, Barret destroys--
B: Damn ShinRA’s headquarters! YEAH!
C: NO, Barret destroys a few computers and Cait Sith makes fun of Rufus.
CS: Specifically his hair.
C: Whatever. And then we get the hell out of here. Got it?
S: If they don’t, they’re too stupid to live anyway.
Z: You’re so feeling, Seph.
T: What are you going to do, Cloud?
C: *brightly* I’m going to follow Sephiroth!
S: *smirk*
T: *disdainfully to Zack* And YOU?
Z: *leer* Well, I was going to follow YOU--
T: *punches him again* I’m going with Cloud!
A: So am I!
Z: Aaaaargh. I’m going to go… hang. Yeah.
S: … *suspicious*
C: Right, let’s mosy!
CS: There has GOT to be a way to stop him saying that.
And now I'm going to go to my room. I swear I'll work, I will, I will.
And for now, some FFVII crack, log-style. I wrote this years and years ago... with alterations, because there were certain things about it I wanted to change. ^~ This is just the first chapter, not that I even finished the second chapter. Maybe I will, who knows.
This is the one you were asking about, Eugenie.
CHAPTER ONE – INFILTRATION (PLAN B)
The group is sitting in a clearing in the forest. Yuffie is trying in vain to wheedle Vincent into giving her his materia. Barret is bugging Cloud. Cloud is happily oblivious to Tifa and Aeris’ attempts to get him to go on a date with them as he moons over Sephiroth. Zack is laughing at Cloud. Cid is tampering with the airship. Cait Sith is planning his latest escapade; Red XIII stands by and wonders if he ought to stop him, and Sephiroth is there making sarcastic comments because Zack was irritating him.
Y: Come on, just one hug? Pleeeeeeeeease?
V: … No.
Y: Don’t be mean! *whine*
V: …
Y: You’re no fun! *attempts to pounce*
V: … *leaves*
Y: *falls flat on face* Ooooooow. Damn it. *pause* Hey, wait, where’s my steal mater-- VINCENT! COME BACK HERE!
~
B: C’mon, Cloud, take me to the Gold Saucer!
C: No.
B: Take me!
C: NO.
B: TAKE ME!
C: NO! *whacks with flat side of sword*
B: *collapses dizzily* Damn… damn yo’… Damn ShinRA!
C: *sighs* Barret, go over there and talk to Cid.
B: Mutter… mutter… damn ShinRA…
Cid: Yeah, #%$*# ShinRA!
B: Exactly! ‘S all ShinRA’s fault!
C: … Shut up, Zack.
Z: What? I didn’t say anything! *smirk*
C: YOU WERE THINKING IT.
Z: What are you, the thought Nazi? It’s a free country.
C: *watching Sephiroth wistfully* No it’s not, it’s controlled by ShinRA.
Z: Details, details.
T: *jumping in Cloud’s line of vision* So, Cloud, what do you think of my dress?
C: *vaguely, going on tip-toes so he can still see Sephiroth* It’s… nice.
A: How does my hair look?
C: Um… nice.
Z: You know, ladies, he’s not going to get it, so how about you and me…
A: Shut up, Zack.
Z: That’s true love for you.
T: So how do I look, Cloud?
C: Huh? Nice, I guess. *willing Sephiroth to come back*
T: Cloud, are you even listening?
C: *dreamily* Don’t you think Sephiroth’s hair is really really pretty?
A + T: …
Z: *facepalm*
A: What is that psychopath even DOING here? He’s supposed to be dead!
Z: … So are we.
A: So?
C: *defensively* Sephiroth’s not a psychopath, he’s just… CONFUSED.
T: This is a lost cause, isn’t it.
Z: *pats back sympathetically, tries to cop feel at the same time*
T: *punches out*
C: Sephiroth… *heart*
~
Y: *following Vincent* I spy, with my little eye, something that, like, begins with M!
V: … Materia.
Y: Hey! How’d you guess?
V: *wonders why he has to be the one to baby-sit Yuffie* In every single word game we’ve played you’ve used ‘materia’.
Y: Fine, then! I spy, with my little eye, something that starts with F!
V: …
Y: Alright, I win! The answer is… FIRE MATERIA! *laughs hysterically*
V: … *contemplates killing her*
~
S: So tell me, robot cat, what ridiculous and inept scheme you are planning now. I’m dying to know, really.
CS: Let’s make fun of Rufus’s hair!
S: … What an astoundingly brilliant plan. I can see that is going to have an earth-shattering effect on the world at large.
CS: Oh, that was SO not funny. From now on, you refrain from wit, okay? You don’t do the wit, *I* do.
S: No you don’t. You try to, perhaps.
R13: Alright, both of you, quiet. From now on, I’m serious and boring, Cait Sith is witty and humorous, and Sephiroth is sarcastic and unhelpful. Got it?
CS: Sound fair to me.
S: Why are you all morons?
R13: See, it’s working already.
S: Uh huh. Sure, whatever. *thinking some fairly colourful thoughts about Cloud, occasionally interspersed by thoughts of murdering Zack slowly and painfully*
~
B: Yo, Cid, can I see your big pointy stick?
Cid: … What the #$%&?
B: Come on, man!
Cid: Okay, sure, whatever. %$#& freak.
B: Coo’, man! Hey, I just thought of somethin’! Let’s bomb damn ShinRA’s headquarters!
Cid: Hey, that IS a good plan. Let’s go bomb @#$&*( ShinRA’s headquarters!
Cid + B: *sneak toward the airship*
C: *without taking his eyes off Sephiroth* Where do you two think you’re going?
Cid: Well, y’see, the thing IS…
B: We gonna bomb damn ShinRA’s headquarters!
C: BARRET! How many times have I told you not to bomb ShinRA’s headquarters? And Cid, how many times have I told you to stop ENCOURAGING him?
Z: Aw, man, don’t be TOO hard on them. We used to do shit like that all the time back when we were training for SOLDIER together!
C: What’s this we? YOU did, you mean.
Z: And yet you’re the one who got spanked by Sephiroth…
C: *turns red* I… that… Shut up, Zack! *to B and Cid, who are playing tiddliwinks* WELL?
Cid: … I’ve lost $%&#* count.
B: Yeah, man, me too. So can we?
C: *has a headache* Can you what?
B: Bomb damn ShinRA’s headquarters!
C: NO.
B: C’mon…
C: NO! But… we’ll sneak in and wreak some havoc. Satisfied?
B: Yeah! Damn ShinRA!
CS: Can I make fun of Rufus’s hair? Can I, can I?
C: … All right.
CS: WHOO! *dances*
S: Oh, great. We’re going on a suicidal mission just so the cat can make fun of the ShinRA brat’s hair. How smart.
C: *depressed because Sephiroth mocked him*
Z: Psst, Seph!
S: *twitch* Shut up, Zack.
Z: Well, FINE, if you’re going to be like that. But you’ve totally upset the kid.
S: … *looks at Cloud’s kicked puppy look and feels guilty* Still, I’m sure it’ll be entertaining enough. *pats Cloud on head*
C: *brightens up*
T: … Did he just nuzzle Sephiroth’s hand? He did, didn’t he?
S: *pretends not to hear, looking off into space with affected boredom and not moving his hand*
T: …
Z: Don’t worry, you get used to it. They were always like this, and guess who had to share a dorm with Cloud? Jeez, man.
S: Shut up, Zack.
Z: Yessir.
C: *remembers where he is, clears throat* So, any other comments?
V: Is death the beginning of the end… or the end of the beginning?
All: ……
Cid: Vincent, what the #$&*?
V: … *shrug*
Y: Hey, Cloud, can I like, steal Government materia?
C: Uh… sure, whatever.
Y: YEAH!
S: *thoughtful* Strategically that’s a very good idea. I’m very proud of you, Cloud.
C: *blushes happily*
Y: Hey, whose idea was that anyway?
S: *ignores Yuffie, nuzzles Cloud’s head*
Z: Gag me with a spoon.
A: …
T: Did he just-- and-- ACK.
Z: What’d I tell you?
A: What? I didn’t see anything! *firmly in denial*
Z: *to Tifa* I can make it all better, baby--
T: *punches him*
Z: OW BY DOSE!
S: You deserved that, Zack.
C: Yeah, nyer. *sticks tongue out*
Z: Sob freds YOU are.
C: ANYWAY. Teams?
A+T: Hey, Cloud, can we go with you?
C: Uh… sure, I guess.
S: NO.
C: Huh? Why not?
S: *simmering murderously, arms possessively around Cloud’s shoulders*
R13: You really don’t get it, do you?
C: Get what?
All: *sigh*
C: What, what? I don’t get it!
R13: Never mind, Cloud. Never mind.
C: But--
S: It’s not important. *glares at Tifa and Aeris*
T: *sticks out tongue*
C: Well, if you say so. *settles back in Sephiroth’s arms*
All: *look at Zack expectantly*
Z: What? Oh, yeah. You guys are pathetic.
S: Zack, do you want to be cleaning the bathrooms for the next month?
Z: Hey, you can’t do that anymore! Anyway, everyone was waiting for me to say something smartarse, how could I disappoint them?
A: *piously* Just Say No.
Z: Hey, speaking of which…
A: *sweetly* Like this. NO, Zack. *punches in stomach*
Z: Ow, JESUS! *doubles over*
S: *stares with renewed respect* And I thought the other one was the tough one.
Z: *thinks blissful thoughts of Aeris and Tifa mud-wrestling*
C: Stop drooling before you drown yourself, Zack.
Cid: Hey, are we gonna infiltrate $%*& ShinRA’s headquarters or not?
B: Yeah! WHAT ABOUT MARLENE?!
All: …
R13: Barret, did that have any relevance whatsoever to the topic at hand?
B: Uh. No?
C: Right, let’s mosy!
Cid: STOP $&%*$ SAYING THAT!
~ On the airship ~
Y: 99 magic mateeeeeria, 99 magic materia! Steal one down an’ run around, 98 magic materia! 98--
V: *long-sufferingly* Run around?
Y: Hey, it rhymes, what’s your problem? 98 magic mateeeeeeria…
~
Cid: I $%&* LOVE flying.
B: Can I see your big pointy stick?
Cid: *stare* What is you #$&*@ OBSESSION with my WEAPON?!
B: Can I have it?
Cid: Barret, you really #$&#* scare me, you know?
B: Coo’, man!
Cid: Just… go sit in that corner and leave me the #&*# alone.
B: Yo. Damn ShinRA!
Cid: …
~
Y: 86 magic mateeeeeeriaaaa, 86 magic materia! Steal one down and run around, 85 magic materia!
V: *thinking* Why, God. Why me.
~
C: Sephiroth, what if we get caught?
S: *reassuringly* I’ll kill them all for you.
C: *big shiny eyes* Really?
S: Of course.
Z: *rolls eyes* Oi! Get a room!
S: *reaches out and slaps him hard upside the head without removing Cloud from his lap*
Z: Ow, SHIT! I think you hit me so hard my eyes are gonna fall out!
C: *smugly* Ha ha.
Z: Suck up.
C: *turns strangely red*
CS: *whines at Sephiroth* I’m BOOORED.
S: Then jump out of the airship.
CS: I don’t think Cloud would appreciate me going parachuting right now, would you Cloud? Hey, Cloud?
C: *asleep*
S: Did I mention anything about parachutes? If you keep bothering Cloud I’ll have no choice but to defenestrate you myself. REMOVE yourself.
CS: You’re so mean to me.
R13: Please, you sound like Yuffie.
CS: AAAH! *starts rubbing his arms and frantically spitting* So dirty… feel so dirty…
S: Aren’t you always?
CS: … Shut up.
~
Y: 72 magic mateeeeeeeriaaaa, 72--
V: How long is this going to take?
Y: ‘Til we get there, duh!
V: WHY.
Y: To help my airsickness, why’d’ya think?
V: … Carry on.
~
T: Where do you think YOU’RE going?
A: To talk to Cloud. Where are YOU going?
T: None of your business. Sephiroth’s in there, you know.
A: …
T: *sweetly* Why don’t you go talk to him instead? Since Cloud will be talking to ME.
A: Talk to SEPHIROTH? What are you, crazy?
T: You should resolve your differences.
A: He killed me! That’s a pretty big difference to get over!
T: I’m sure you can work it out. *shove* Go, go!
A: *sweatdrop*
~
Y: 65 magic mateeeeeeeriaaaa, 65--
V: Yuffie, if you do not stop singing in the next five seconds I’m afraid I will have no choice but to kill you.
Y: Well, like, FINE, then!
V: …
Y: *starts turning green* Urk.
V: …
Y: *throws up on Vincent*
V: *twitches and gets up to leave*
Cid: *from other room* Hey, you better be babysitting that %&*%$& klepto kid so she doesn’t steal any of my stuff!
V: *sits down and hates the universe*
~
S: …
A: Damn you, Sephiroth! What’d I ever do to you!
Z: Aside from horn in on his action?
A: Shut UP, Zack! *kicks him*
Z: OW. What the hell am I, a punching bag? I’m in an abusive relationship!
A: No you’re not, I broke up with you when you died.
Z: Hey, what? WHY!
A: Because you were stupid enough to get yourself killed by being shot. That’s just SAD, that is.
Z: …
S: You DATED this harpy?
Z: It seemed like a good idea at the time…?
S: *sigh* You ALWAYS think things seem like a good idea at the time.
Z: *defensively* Well they DO! And anyway, you wouldn’t let me within a ten foot radius of Cloud, so-- uh… you know, I’m shutting up now.
S: You do that.
A: Hello? ME time now!
S: What do you want? You’ll wake up Cloud.
A: As I was saying! Why’d you have to go and kill me!
S: What? That wasn’t me!
A: Oh yeah? Who was it, then?
S: Tifa!
A: TIFA! Why you rotten little…
C: *sleepily* Huh?
S: Shh, go back to sleep baby, Aeris is just about to pound on Tifa for killing her.
Z: *cheers silently for Tifa under his breath, still bitter about being dumped*
C: Tifa killed Aeris?
T: Cloud! Would I do I thing like that?
C: Oh. Well that’s okay then. *goes back to sleep*
T: Of course I would. I’m such evil brilliance! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA-- *falls off her chair backwards* OW!
A: *sniggers*
Z: *with shoujo sparkles* Hey, gorgeous. Are you o--
T: *punches*
Z: OW MY EYE!
S: *ignores them all*
CS: *wanders back in* Are we there yet?
S: No.
CS: Are we there yet?
S: NO.
CS: Are we there yet?
S: NO!
CS: Are we--
S: NO, now shut the fuck up before I slam you into a wall!
C: Mrrgh?
S: Look, you woke up Cloud. *dangerous glint*
Z: I’d go now while you still have a chance. Seph won’t get up with Cloud on his lap. Go, go! Save yourself!
CS: Will do! *scrams*
S: Hn.
~
Y: 53 magic mateeeeeria, 53 magic--
V: *resigned* How much longer until we get there?
Y: About half an hour. Why? 53 magic materia! Steal one down and--
V: *silently starts beating himself to death on the wall*
Y: Run around, 52-- hey, Vincy, are you okay?
V: *succeeds in knocking himself unconscious*
Y: Oh well! 52 magic materiaaaa…
~
CS: Are we there yet?
Cid: What the $%&*$ do you want, you stupid cat?
CS: I want to mock Rufus’s hair. I also want to know if we’re THERE YET.
Cid: NO, for-- wait.
CS: What?
Cid: We’re there.
CS: We are?
Cid: Isn’t that what you were ASKING? &%$&*!
CS: I was just doing that to be annoy-- okay, I’ll, uh, go now.
Cid: %&#$* OFF AND TELL THE OTHERS WE’RE THERE.
CS: KTHXBYE. *scrams again*
~
Y: 44 magic mateeeeeeeeriaaa, 44--
CS: Hey, Yuffie! We’re there!
Y: Cool! *kicks Vincent* Hey, VINCY! WAKE UP! We’re theeeee~eeeere!
V: Unngh? *wakes up* There…?
Y: Uh huh!
V: … you’re going to stop singing that song.
Y: Like, DUH. Of course-- Vincy, why are you kissing the floor? Hey, we’re going now! *drags Vincent to where the others are*
C: *still being cuddled by Sephiroth* Okay, here’s the plan…
B: Can I destroy damn ShinRA’s headquarters?
C: No. Now--
B: Please?
C: Look, we’ve already been through this. NO.
B: But--
C: NO! Okay, we sneak in, Yuffie steals materia, Barret destroys--
B: Damn ShinRA’s headquarters! YEAH!
C: NO, Barret destroys a few computers and Cait Sith makes fun of Rufus.
CS: Specifically his hair.
C: Whatever. And then we get the hell out of here. Got it?
S: If they don’t, they’re too stupid to live anyway.
Z: You’re so feeling, Seph.
T: What are you going to do, Cloud?
C: *brightly* I’m going to follow Sephiroth!
S: *smirk*
T: *disdainfully to Zack* And YOU?
Z: *leer* Well, I was going to follow YOU--
T: *punches him again* I’m going with Cloud!
A: So am I!
Z: Aaaaargh. I’m going to go… hang. Yeah.
S: … *suspicious*
C: Right, let’s mosy!
CS: There has GOT to be a way to stop him saying that.
And now I'm going to go to my room. I swear I'll work, I will, I will.
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2005-10-22 10:44 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-10-22 11:23 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-10-22 12:10 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-10-22 12:34 pm (UTC)No problem...
Date: 2005-10-22 05:36 pm (UTC)Ch2 http://s61.yousendit.com/d.aspx?id=1N64Y1E8KRB0W25XHNPMRNIBVZ
Ch3 http://s61.yousendit.com/d.aspx?id=0DQO3TL1TP6M2012XM1O9Q3M8K
Ch4 http://s61.yousendit.com/d.aspx?id=120PBDINN6NQ404BPFBC0AXQKJ
Ch5 http://s61.yousendit.com/d.aspx?id=1WN29E7TOELC517UO2SKALGDVU
Enjoy *bows* ^_________^
Re: No problem...
Date: 2005-10-23 01:39 am (UTC)Re: No problem...
Date: 2005-10-23 11:41 am (UTC)Re: No problem...
Date: 2005-10-23 11:42 am (UTC)Re: No problem...
Date: 2005-10-23 12:03 pm (UTC)Re: No problem...
Date: 2005-10-23 12:09 pm (UTC)Aoe Reiji is HOT AS. *hearts madly* And Kiichi is the best thing in the entire universe.
Re: No problem...
Date: 2005-10-23 04:23 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-10-23 01:39 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-10-23 04:17 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-10-23 09:00 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-10-23 10:43 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-11-08 07:03 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-06-10 12:33 pm (UTC)T: What are you going to do, Cloud?
C: *brightly* I’m going to follow Sephiroth!
S: *smirk*
PS. I always Tifa was evil XP.