so incredibly silly and pointless
Jan. 25th, 2007 04:27 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
tammaiyaI drank too much tea, ate a cherry ripe, was too active, and now want to throw up. High blood sugar may also be involved, though I'm too lazy to check. I was trying to sleep and couldn't, when "Phantom of the Opera" came on on my CD player. Since I couldn't sleep, I decided if I had to suffer I should share the pain, and so I decided to type up the horrible bad-fic idea I am totally not writing where Subaru is Christine and Seishirou is the phantom and Kamui is like, Meg.
It kind of turned out long for something I'm totally not writing, but not as long as if I WERE writing it. *cough*
Subaru's first thought after he had a dream about Seishirou singing opera in a mask was that obviously it had been a mistake to eat that horrific yet addictive rocky road icecream thing Yuzuriha and Sorata had concocted, especially before bed, because there was no way that much sugar could be good for you.
He decided this theory was clearly confirmed when he woke up and found masked Seishirou smirking faintly in a floorlength mirror he was almost certain hadn't been in his bedroom before.
"Um," he said after a long moment. "This is one of the weirdest hallucinations I've ever had, I think."
You couldn't tell behind the mask, but Subaru was almost certain that the Seishirou in the mirror had raised an eyebrow. "You have hallucinations frequently?"
"Not that often," Subaru said, and then admitted, "Okay, maybe a little often."
"Hm," the hallucination said. "Anyway, I've decided you really need to learn how to sing opera."
Subaru considered this carefully. It was a hallucination, so it didn't have to make sense. He was probably still dreaming, in fact.
Just because it didn't have to make sense, though, didn't mean that Subaru wasn't going to keep expecting it to start.
"Why?" he asked suspiciously. "You know I don't like singing, Seishirou-san."
"I am the opera ghost," still totally Seishirou corrected, and a memory of something Hokuto had said once-- he couldn't remember the context at all-- about opera and ghosts and angels of music suddenly rose to mind and stuck, because it was amusingly appropriate and ironic, all things considered.
"Right," Subaru sighed, and rubbed his eyes. "Sorry, Seishirou-san, but it's very late and I'm tired and you're a hallucination, so if you don't mind, I think I'm going back to bed."
"I can wait," the mirror said agreeably, and Subaru pulled the blanket over his head and went back to sleep.
~
In the morning, the mirror was still there, although there was no reflection other than his own. Subaru stared at it warily, remembering something from his dream about secret passages and so forth that he was pretty sure weren't real, but then again, he didn't think the mirror had been either.
Maybe someone had just decided to redocorate.
(In the middle of the night? common sense said dubiously, but he ignored it.)
"Kamui," Subaru said, "do you think there are any secret passages in the Imonoyama mansion? Or secret underground lairs?"
"Er," Kamui said, staring at him. "No? Why?"
"There's just a mirror in my room where there didn't used to be a mirror," Subaru said lamely.
Kamui looked at him expectantly.
"And I had a dream where the mirror lead to a secret underground cavern where Seishirou-san tried to teach me to sing opera," Subaru added, more than a little embarrassed.
Kamui's stretched silence and worried "oh my god he's finally cracked" expression were very eloquent and needed no translation.
"The Sakurazukamori sings?" Kamui asked finally, like that was the really important thing in this conversation. "Seriously?"
Subaru blinked, slightly taken aback. "Well, I did see him perform karaoke once," he said weakly. "But I honestly don't know if he can sing opera."
"Huh," Kamui said.
"But I meant it about the secret passages," Subaru insisted, steering back to the original subject. "Do you think they exist?"
"No. I think," Kamui said, "that maybe you need therapy." He frowned. "In fact, I think we probably all need therapy."
"I think," said Subaru cautiously, "that we're probably beyond therapy, actually."
Kamui contemplated this.
"Yeah, you're probably right," he conceded. "Let's go play therepeutic playstation instead."
~
The next night, Seishirou said something insane that Subaru was too tired to make any sense of about descending into lairs and so forth. He was probably quoting something. Subaru sighed and followed him through the mirror anyway, which did in fact turn out to be a secret passage through the walls and down underneath the mansion.
"Seishirou-san," Subaru said, a little accusingly, "Did you build this? Because it's not very nice to interfere with someone else's property like that."
Never mind the fact that this was already trespassing, of course.
Seishirou shrugged. "I may have made a few minor alterations," he said, with absolutely no elaboration. "You seem very certain that you know who I am."
"That's because I am very certain."
"I'm sure I have no idea who you're talking about."
Subaru made a small irritable noise and reached out for the mask, but Seishirou caught his wrist.
"Ah ah ah," Seishirou said mildly. "It's not very polite to remove someone's mask without permission. I could be horribly disfigured and very sensitive about it."
"But you're not," Subaru pointed out. "You're Seishirou-san. This is silly."
"But how do you know for sure?" Seishirou challenged him. Subaru looked mildly embarrassed.
"I just do," he said firmly, because there was no way in hell, heaven or earth that he was explaining that he could tell by the way his heart rate always sped up around Seishirou. He would die first, and still not admit it. "Why are we here?"
"I've decided to teach you to sing opera," the so-called 'opera ghost' announced cheerfully. "It's very fulfilling."
"The whole world has gone insane," Subaru muttered, letting his head thud against the side of the organ.
~
"Subaru, please stop humming," Kamui said sincerely. "It is totally starting to freak me out."
"Sorry," Subaru apologised sheepishly. "I can't help it. Seishirou-san got it stuck in my head."
"There are so many things wrong with that sentence that I don't know where to begin," Kamui told him. "Not least of which being the fact that you're singing a really bad Japanese adaption of Andrew Lloyd Webber."
"Really?"
"I can't believe you don't know that and you're singing it," Kamui said, eyeing him askance. "But the most disturbing thing is that that isn't the most disturbing thing aobut that."
"It isn't?"
"No. It's the fact I have to ask, in all seriousness, if you were talking about the real Sakurazukamori or the one playing opera ghost. Which, if that's what your subconscious is coming up with, means you are WAY too stressed."
"The thing is," Subaru said helplessly, "is that it was kind of a mixture of the two, because it was opera ghost Seishirou-san, only I'm pretty sure it was actually real this time."
"... What?"
"He took me down to his secret underground lair and everything."
"The Sakurazukamori did?" Kamui echoed dumbly. "To teach you to sing opera?"
"He said he wasn't Seishirou-san," Subaru said, "but I'm pretty sure he was lying."
Despite the fact that the pentagrams hadn't lit up. He'd find an explanation for that later.
"So... let me get this straight. A weird guy in a mask shows up in your bedroom and wants to teach you to sing opera in his funky underground lair that shouldn't even exist, and somehow this seems like a good idea to you?"
"In my defence, I am still completely certain it was Seishirou-san," Subaru said weakly.
"And how the hell does that make it any better?" Kamui demanded. "Subaru, I don't even care whether it happened or not now, you're obviously crazy either way."
"I'm not crazy," Subaru argued, but it sounded pretty weak to him too. "If anyone is crazy, it's Seishirou-san."
"I guess in the grand scheme of our lives, the Sakurazukamori playing opera ghost and digging a lair under our house so he can stalk you isn't that unbelievably crazy," Kamui said, and then thought about the words that had just come out of his mouth. "Oh my god, what am I saying? Of course it's that crazy. Nothing could ever make that not crazy."
"I'm not feeling very comforted," Subaru muttered, and buried his head in his hands. "Oh, god, I really am going insane."
Kamui patted him sympathetically on the back, but Subaru was secretly sure from Kamui's mildly guilty expression that he'd totally thought 'what do you mean, going?'.
In my defence, it's 5.40 am, I'm nauseous and I told you it was going to cause you physical pain going in. NOW I'm going to try sleeping.
ETA: Oh my god, the SCARIEST thing about this is that I just remembered that Kelsey and I have totally discussed this before and I'd totally forgotten, only I at least remember that Kamui wasn't Meg when we were talking about it. He was, like, Raoul. Or something.
My head is horrible, diseased place. I can't believe I had this idea TWICE, each time completely independent of the other. *laughs until she cries*
It kind of turned out long for something I'm totally not writing, but not as long as if I WERE writing it. *cough*
Subaru's first thought after he had a dream about Seishirou singing opera in a mask was that obviously it had been a mistake to eat that horrific yet addictive rocky road icecream thing Yuzuriha and Sorata had concocted, especially before bed, because there was no way that much sugar could be good for you.
He decided this theory was clearly confirmed when he woke up and found masked Seishirou smirking faintly in a floorlength mirror he was almost certain hadn't been in his bedroom before.
"Um," he said after a long moment. "This is one of the weirdest hallucinations I've ever had, I think."
You couldn't tell behind the mask, but Subaru was almost certain that the Seishirou in the mirror had raised an eyebrow. "You have hallucinations frequently?"
"Not that often," Subaru said, and then admitted, "Okay, maybe a little often."
"Hm," the hallucination said. "Anyway, I've decided you really need to learn how to sing opera."
Subaru considered this carefully. It was a hallucination, so it didn't have to make sense. He was probably still dreaming, in fact.
Just because it didn't have to make sense, though, didn't mean that Subaru wasn't going to keep expecting it to start.
"Why?" he asked suspiciously. "You know I don't like singing, Seishirou-san."
"I am the opera ghost," still totally Seishirou corrected, and a memory of something Hokuto had said once-- he couldn't remember the context at all-- about opera and ghosts and angels of music suddenly rose to mind and stuck, because it was amusingly appropriate and ironic, all things considered.
"Right," Subaru sighed, and rubbed his eyes. "Sorry, Seishirou-san, but it's very late and I'm tired and you're a hallucination, so if you don't mind, I think I'm going back to bed."
"I can wait," the mirror said agreeably, and Subaru pulled the blanket over his head and went back to sleep.
~
In the morning, the mirror was still there, although there was no reflection other than his own. Subaru stared at it warily, remembering something from his dream about secret passages and so forth that he was pretty sure weren't real, but then again, he didn't think the mirror had been either.
Maybe someone had just decided to redocorate.
(In the middle of the night? common sense said dubiously, but he ignored it.)
"Kamui," Subaru said, "do you think there are any secret passages in the Imonoyama mansion? Or secret underground lairs?"
"Er," Kamui said, staring at him. "No? Why?"
"There's just a mirror in my room where there didn't used to be a mirror," Subaru said lamely.
Kamui looked at him expectantly.
"And I had a dream where the mirror lead to a secret underground cavern where Seishirou-san tried to teach me to sing opera," Subaru added, more than a little embarrassed.
Kamui's stretched silence and worried "oh my god he's finally cracked" expression were very eloquent and needed no translation.
"The Sakurazukamori sings?" Kamui asked finally, like that was the really important thing in this conversation. "Seriously?"
Subaru blinked, slightly taken aback. "Well, I did see him perform karaoke once," he said weakly. "But I honestly don't know if he can sing opera."
"Huh," Kamui said.
"But I meant it about the secret passages," Subaru insisted, steering back to the original subject. "Do you think they exist?"
"No. I think," Kamui said, "that maybe you need therapy." He frowned. "In fact, I think we probably all need therapy."
"I think," said Subaru cautiously, "that we're probably beyond therapy, actually."
Kamui contemplated this.
"Yeah, you're probably right," he conceded. "Let's go play therepeutic playstation instead."
~
The next night, Seishirou said something insane that Subaru was too tired to make any sense of about descending into lairs and so forth. He was probably quoting something. Subaru sighed and followed him through the mirror anyway, which did in fact turn out to be a secret passage through the walls and down underneath the mansion.
"Seishirou-san," Subaru said, a little accusingly, "Did you build this? Because it's not very nice to interfere with someone else's property like that."
Never mind the fact that this was already trespassing, of course.
Seishirou shrugged. "I may have made a few minor alterations," he said, with absolutely no elaboration. "You seem very certain that you know who I am."
"That's because I am very certain."
"I'm sure I have no idea who you're talking about."
Subaru made a small irritable noise and reached out for the mask, but Seishirou caught his wrist.
"Ah ah ah," Seishirou said mildly. "It's not very polite to remove someone's mask without permission. I could be horribly disfigured and very sensitive about it."
"But you're not," Subaru pointed out. "You're Seishirou-san. This is silly."
"But how do you know for sure?" Seishirou challenged him. Subaru looked mildly embarrassed.
"I just do," he said firmly, because there was no way in hell, heaven or earth that he was explaining that he could tell by the way his heart rate always sped up around Seishirou. He would die first, and still not admit it. "Why are we here?"
"I've decided to teach you to sing opera," the so-called 'opera ghost' announced cheerfully. "It's very fulfilling."
"The whole world has gone insane," Subaru muttered, letting his head thud against the side of the organ.
~
"Subaru, please stop humming," Kamui said sincerely. "It is totally starting to freak me out."
"Sorry," Subaru apologised sheepishly. "I can't help it. Seishirou-san got it stuck in my head."
"There are so many things wrong with that sentence that I don't know where to begin," Kamui told him. "Not least of which being the fact that you're singing a really bad Japanese adaption of Andrew Lloyd Webber."
"Really?"
"I can't believe you don't know that and you're singing it," Kamui said, eyeing him askance. "But the most disturbing thing is that that isn't the most disturbing thing aobut that."
"It isn't?"
"No. It's the fact I have to ask, in all seriousness, if you were talking about the real Sakurazukamori or the one playing opera ghost. Which, if that's what your subconscious is coming up with, means you are WAY too stressed."
"The thing is," Subaru said helplessly, "is that it was kind of a mixture of the two, because it was opera ghost Seishirou-san, only I'm pretty sure it was actually real this time."
"... What?"
"He took me down to his secret underground lair and everything."
"The Sakurazukamori did?" Kamui echoed dumbly. "To teach you to sing opera?"
"He said he wasn't Seishirou-san," Subaru said, "but I'm pretty sure he was lying."
Despite the fact that the pentagrams hadn't lit up. He'd find an explanation for that later.
"So... let me get this straight. A weird guy in a mask shows up in your bedroom and wants to teach you to sing opera in his funky underground lair that shouldn't even exist, and somehow this seems like a good idea to you?"
"In my defence, I am still completely certain it was Seishirou-san," Subaru said weakly.
"And how the hell does that make it any better?" Kamui demanded. "Subaru, I don't even care whether it happened or not now, you're obviously crazy either way."
"I'm not crazy," Subaru argued, but it sounded pretty weak to him too. "If anyone is crazy, it's Seishirou-san."
"I guess in the grand scheme of our lives, the Sakurazukamori playing opera ghost and digging a lair under our house so he can stalk you isn't that unbelievably crazy," Kamui said, and then thought about the words that had just come out of his mouth. "Oh my god, what am I saying? Of course it's that crazy. Nothing could ever make that not crazy."
"I'm not feeling very comforted," Subaru muttered, and buried his head in his hands. "Oh, god, I really am going insane."
Kamui patted him sympathetically on the back, but Subaru was secretly sure from Kamui's mildly guilty expression that he'd totally thought 'what do you mean, going?'.
In my defence, it's 5.40 am, I'm nauseous and I told you it was going to cause you physical pain going in. NOW I'm going to try sleeping.
ETA: Oh my god, the SCARIEST thing about this is that I just remembered that Kelsey and I have totally discussed this before and I'd totally forgotten, only I at least remember that Kamui wasn't Meg when we were talking about it. He was, like, Raoul. Or something.
My head is horrible, diseased place. I can't believe I had this idea TWICE, each time completely independent of the other. *laughs until she cries*
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
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Date: 2007-01-29 10:47 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-01-24 10:46 pm (UTC):DDDDDDDDDDDDd
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Date: 2007-01-29 10:44 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-01-29 11:00 am (UTC)*GIPs*
remarkably little of interest has happened to me :o too much wow, lots of scrubs, everyone else getting up to things while i sort of meander on doing nothing in particular
although, OMG HAVE YOU SEEN STUDIO 60 OR HEROES!?
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Date: 2007-01-29 11:19 am (UTC):O! I have both of them on discs that people gave me and have been meaning to watch them! Clearly I must do so ASAP!
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Date: 2007-01-25 06:13 am (UTC)I demand you write more.
Am giggling madly.
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Date: 2007-01-29 10:42 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-01-26 02:17 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-01-29 10:40 am (UTC)