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tammaiyaBoyband!X has surpassed the 50K mark. I'm not sure whether to party or cry. *considers this* Anyway, having passed 8,600 words for chapter 7 I'm starting to get really nervous about making the LJ character limit. I ALREADY CUT THIS PART IN TWO, GODDAMMIT.
Since I feel like it and partially for my own reference, summarising of book 6 and the continued saga of Naoe and Takaya's emotional trauma. This book is the first part of the final arc in the animated series, the arc with the Tsutsuga Mirror.
For the record I'm actually a lot further than this but the decision to extract Takaya and Chiaki's conversation-- or rather, Chiaki's rant-- meant this got quite long and I decided to only take it until the end of Takaya's POV for now. (More on Naoe's crazy, crazy POV later, plus why Kousaka is now my hero.)
Book starts with Kousaka and Shingen, who has found himself a new host body, doing what they do best, ie scheming. Someone has stolen something called the Tsutsuga Mirror, and they suspect the Houjyou clan. Shingen wants Kousaka to either steal it back or destroy it, and he's talking serious war with the Houjyou. Kousaka reminds him that this might put them at odds with Kagetora, whose birth father and brothers were the Houjyou, and this troubles Shingen, who still thinks of Kagetora as a son despite that he was only adopted into their clan for a short time. Kenshin, he says, you make me do such cruel things.
This may explain Kousaka and his attitude towards Takaya and Naoe somewhat, but... not so much. Kousaka is still a mystery!
Then they talk about Yuzuru some, and Kousaka is adamant that Kagetora has have known who Yuzuru's true identity was because only someone with the power of Kenshin (who is MIA) could have sealed Yuzuru's power and Kagetora is Kenshin's proxy, thus only Kagetora could have done it. Shingen wants Yuzuru wiped out, but not until after the Houjyou are dealt with.
Okay, enough plot, onto gay angst!
... Well, okay, no. Actually chapter 1 is about Saori going to meet Yuhiko in Tokyo (and I notice dialect for the first time because Saori calls Yuhiko "Yuhiko-HYAN" rather than chan) and all the exciting haunting trauma that occurs at the water park when they go there. Having sufficiently freaked out that the ghost is going to kill someone-- she keeps murmuring in Yuhiko's head that she'll drag everyone down with her to the bottom-- they call on reinforcements, ie, Saori calls Yuzuru who enlists Takaya and Chiaki. Ayako comes too, despite going to school in another town.
When they show up, Takaya is in like the mother of all bad moods and Saori is kind of freaked, but Yuzuru tells her Takaya's been like this for days and won't tell anybody why. Also, when it gets down to the possession, he's sounding more like Kagetora than Takaya in what he says, which confuses Yuzuru and co and definitely triggers alertness in Ayako and Chiaki, who know what the difference means.
Anyway, long story short, the ghost is Itsuhime, who drowned in the river after her father's castle was stormed by the Houjyou. She thus hates Takaya, not that he understands why, but Chiaki and Ayako do. After some fighting, she possesses Yuhiko, and Takaya gets pissed off and kind of loses the plot. Instead of trying to exorcise her, he starts throwing around, eg, large chunks of rocks which could very well kill Yuhiko. Chiaki shoves Takaya in the pool (yay Chiaki XD), he and Ayako exorcise the ghost, and then Chiaki goes to give Takaya some well deserved yelling at.
Well, not entirely deserved. Anyway, as follows.
C: What happened?
T: ................
C: With Naoe-- what happened?
T: *avoids his eyes* None of your business.
C: Something you can't say?
T: *glare*
C: Is that why we haven't heard anything from Naoe since then? And is that why you've been in a foul mood for days, too?
T: I don't know.
T: About a guy like him. Not anymore... I don't...
C: "I don't know"?
C: What have you ever known about him?
T: .....!
C: *angry* I'm amazed you looked.
T: Eh...?
C: Either your ignorance is basic stupidity or you're purposefully avoiding knowing, which is it? When they say ignorance is a sin, it's you they're talking about.
T: *confused*
C: Looks like it's stupid, then.
T: ... I...
C: Did you never stop to think? Given the way Naoe parted from Kagetora 30 years ago. Isn't it strange that even though he finally met up with you again, he's so calm? Along with you losing your memory, spurring on your ignorance... the one who agitates him is definitely you, Kagetora. Personally, I think it's a problem of time. What do you think?
T: *pales*
C: *snort* Hn. You don't believe me? Want to tell me that's not who you are? Right. Maybe that really isn't who you are.
T: I don't understand! I...
C: It's not that you don't understand. It's that you don't want to accept it.
C: Your ignorance is nothing more than an escape. If not, self protection. All you're doing is lying to yourself that you don't know what you do.
T: ... Chiaki.
C: The sinful one is you, isn't it. Kagetora.
C: You ran away like that thirty years ago, too. You avoid and avoid things that are inconvenient to you... and like that, you drove him crazy. Isn't that so?
T: -- I...
C: The hypocrite is you, Kagetora. Acting like you're the only one who hasn't gone crazy. Acting like after four hundred years of living you're the only "proper human". We're already demons. Isn't that right? Isn't that the true state of those who've lived for four hundred years? It's only natural to go insane. Even so, what about you? Is it painful? Is it hard? If you run away like that and only you get to have it easy, who do you think has to clean up the mess you make? Have you even thought about it? "I don't know"? Don't make me laugh. No matter what you knew, despite doing nothing. Pretending like you don't know and running from things that are inconvenient, ignoring them... Have you ever actually really thought about him...!"
T: ... I think about him...
C: Don't lie. All you think about is where to run to. How to interpret so it's convenient to you, how you can run away. Your own self protection, not about him. You're the victim? Wrong. You're the one at fault.
T: I think about him!
T: I think about him every day, always! Like this...
C: Wrong! You think about how to run away. You don't think about how to save him, do you? Acting like you're the only normal one-- you're the master, so it's okay for you to be selfish, right? You probably think it's natural for people to sacrifice themselves. As if. Not realising your own sinfulness, the one falling first to hell... is you, Kagetora!
T: Chiaki...
C: I don't know what happened with Naoe in Toyama, but if you want to understand him, you should try letting him do what he wants for once. If you do, you'll get it. Your own arrogance...
T: ... *runs away*
On the one hand, much needed wakeup call. On the other, ow, that was WAY HARSH and maybe not entirely warranted, especially towards the end. I kind of wanted to give Takaya a hug when he said he thought about Naoe all the time. *wince*
Takaya, having run off, is now angsting around the train station about how Naoe almost died for him back in book two with the case involving Mori Ranmaru and the school and the glass shards, because Takaya himself didn't think he was worth that and surely Naoe had someone or something more precious to protect. Then again, that more precious person is Kagetora; Takaya, but not. Realising that, Takaya kept looking over his shoulder to check that Naoe was still there, afraid that next time he looked Naoe would be gone and being relieved every time that Naoe was there. Takaya thinks about what Chiaki said and wonders if Chiaki was right, if this was just another way of protecting himself and running away.
He then wonders just what it is he's meant to know but not want to accept. He thinks about what Naoe said and did right before he vanished off into the unknown and concludes that the emotion Naoe was calling a lie was not loyalty. Uh, yes, well done, Takaya, good start.
He then concludes, on the basis of the look of hate in Naoe's eyes, that maybe that is the reason for Naoe's actions that he's supposed to be accepting. Um. Close, but no cigar, Takaya. *sigh* He decides not to give up just yet, though, and decides after much hesitation and almost hanging up to ring the Tachibana number Naoe gave him when they first met. Naoe's mum answers the phone.
(... I'm sorry, I just have to stop to giggle. NAOE'S MUM HAHAHA. Okay, I'm done.)
Takaya asks very awkwardly if this is "Yoshiaki-san's" house, and Naoe's mum asks him to wait a moment while she looks for him. Meanwhile, Takaya is quietly spazzing out wondering what the hell he's going to say because Naoe hasn't contacted him at all since the Incident and he doesn't even know what he's calling for. He just wants to hear Naoe's voice. (aw, woobie.)
However, it's all a moot point because Naoe's mum comes back and says that in fact Naoe (er, Yoshiaki) is not there, because it seems he left early that morning on a long-distance trip. She thought he'd stay home for a few days, but it looks like he's gone out with a woman who came to visit the house the day before and she doesn't think he'll be home tonight. Would Takaya like to leave a message?
No, Takaya would NOT. Instead Takaya would like to be inexplicably pissed off that Naoe apparently lied about not dating anyone, and while Takaya's been angsting all by himself. That's just SO TYPICAL, isn't it? Going around keeping all his worries to himself and then having random inexplicable outbursts of anger where he says things that seem like they hurt himself perfectly calmly... Going around doing that kind of thing and then resolving it all by himself. (Applause for Takaya, this is actually incredibly accurate.)
Then Takaya decides he's an idiot for putting up with it, and further decides that he hates Matsumoto and it's small town mentality where everybody looks at him disapprovingly, and he's staying in goddamn Tokyo.
Meanwhile, Chiaki is all like "ARGH FUCK BOTH YOU IDIOTS, I'VE HAD ENOUGH" and goes back to the others, who are like, uh, where's Takaya? Chiaki, still fuming, tells them that Takaya isn't a goddamn kid and can make his own way back to Matsumoto.
Which as we can now all guess isn't going to happen. O, Chiaki, your optimism (?) is so misplaced. XD;
Then he bitches to Ayako some about the Minako Thing and how it's so just a timebomb waiting to go off and happen YET AGAIN.
Back to Takaya, sad puppy, who is lighting cigarettes but not really smoking them because they smell like Naoe. WOOBIE. ;___; He gets into a fight with some students who step on said cigarettes because he's really quite irrational about it, and gets beaten up. Taking stock, it's past midnight and he's injured and hanging out on the sidewalk. OH, TAKAYA.
Then a random man, "about the same age as Naoe but not as tall", shows up and is nice to him. And Takaya's all, g'way and leave me alone. But the man persists in being nice to him and offers his jumper, and Takaya says, completely out of the blue, "I'm not the one running away from "Kagetora". The one who's running away and hiding is him."
Random man: ................
RM: Will you come with me? It doesn't seem like you want to be alone like this right now... You're hurt, you could catch a cold.
To extract:
"So saying, the man holds his palm out above Takaya. Takaya closed his eyes. Tears welled up. The warmth of that hand tightened his chest. Feelings of relief and loneliness mingling together, the name that fell from his lips was snatched away by the damp city breeze."
Which concludes Takaya's POV for several chapters, and it kind of FRIGHTENS ME GREATLY how vulnerable Takaya is at this point thanks to Naoe-- even before Naoe. All it takes is for an older man to come along and be nice to him and Takaya is pretty much at their mercy. No, Takaya! Don't go getting picked up by random older men! It is BOUND TO END IN TROUBLE! And okay, so I know this guy is Kagetora's older brother and all, but YOU DON'T KNOW THAT!
*tears hair out*
In conclusion, Takaya needs hot chocolate and lots of hugs, preferably from Naoe.
Since I feel like it and partially for my own reference, summarising of book 6 and the continued saga of Naoe and Takaya's emotional trauma. This book is the first part of the final arc in the animated series, the arc with the Tsutsuga Mirror.
For the record I'm actually a lot further than this but the decision to extract Takaya and Chiaki's conversation-- or rather, Chiaki's rant-- meant this got quite long and I decided to only take it until the end of Takaya's POV for now. (More on Naoe's crazy, crazy POV later, plus why Kousaka is now my hero.)
Book starts with Kousaka and Shingen, who has found himself a new host body, doing what they do best, ie scheming. Someone has stolen something called the Tsutsuga Mirror, and they suspect the Houjyou clan. Shingen wants Kousaka to either steal it back or destroy it, and he's talking serious war with the Houjyou. Kousaka reminds him that this might put them at odds with Kagetora, whose birth father and brothers were the Houjyou, and this troubles Shingen, who still thinks of Kagetora as a son despite that he was only adopted into their clan for a short time. Kenshin, he says, you make me do such cruel things.
This may explain Kousaka and his attitude towards Takaya and Naoe somewhat, but... not so much. Kousaka is still a mystery!
Then they talk about Yuzuru some, and Kousaka is adamant that Kagetora has have known who Yuzuru's true identity was because only someone with the power of Kenshin (who is MIA) could have sealed Yuzuru's power and Kagetora is Kenshin's proxy, thus only Kagetora could have done it. Shingen wants Yuzuru wiped out, but not until after the Houjyou are dealt with.
Okay, enough plot, onto gay angst!
... Well, okay, no. Actually chapter 1 is about Saori going to meet Yuhiko in Tokyo (and I notice dialect for the first time because Saori calls Yuhiko "Yuhiko-HYAN" rather than chan) and all the exciting haunting trauma that occurs at the water park when they go there. Having sufficiently freaked out that the ghost is going to kill someone-- she keeps murmuring in Yuhiko's head that she'll drag everyone down with her to the bottom-- they call on reinforcements, ie, Saori calls Yuzuru who enlists Takaya and Chiaki. Ayako comes too, despite going to school in another town.
When they show up, Takaya is in like the mother of all bad moods and Saori is kind of freaked, but Yuzuru tells her Takaya's been like this for days and won't tell anybody why. Also, when it gets down to the possession, he's sounding more like Kagetora than Takaya in what he says, which confuses Yuzuru and co and definitely triggers alertness in Ayako and Chiaki, who know what the difference means.
Anyway, long story short, the ghost is Itsuhime, who drowned in the river after her father's castle was stormed by the Houjyou. She thus hates Takaya, not that he understands why, but Chiaki and Ayako do. After some fighting, she possesses Yuhiko, and Takaya gets pissed off and kind of loses the plot. Instead of trying to exorcise her, he starts throwing around, eg, large chunks of rocks which could very well kill Yuhiko. Chiaki shoves Takaya in the pool (yay Chiaki XD), he and Ayako exorcise the ghost, and then Chiaki goes to give Takaya some well deserved yelling at.
Well, not entirely deserved. Anyway, as follows.
C: What happened?
T: ................
C: With Naoe-- what happened?
T: *avoids his eyes* None of your business.
C: Something you can't say?
T: *glare*
C: Is that why we haven't heard anything from Naoe since then? And is that why you've been in a foul mood for days, too?
T: I don't know.
T: About a guy like him. Not anymore... I don't...
C: "I don't know"?
C: What have you ever known about him?
T: .....!
C: *angry* I'm amazed you looked.
T: Eh...?
C: Either your ignorance is basic stupidity or you're purposefully avoiding knowing, which is it? When they say ignorance is a sin, it's you they're talking about.
T: *confused*
C: Looks like it's stupid, then.
T: ... I...
C: Did you never stop to think? Given the way Naoe parted from Kagetora 30 years ago. Isn't it strange that even though he finally met up with you again, he's so calm? Along with you losing your memory, spurring on your ignorance... the one who agitates him is definitely you, Kagetora. Personally, I think it's a problem of time. What do you think?
T: *pales*
C: *snort* Hn. You don't believe me? Want to tell me that's not who you are? Right. Maybe that really isn't who you are.
T: I don't understand! I...
C: It's not that you don't understand. It's that you don't want to accept it.
C: Your ignorance is nothing more than an escape. If not, self protection. All you're doing is lying to yourself that you don't know what you do.
T: ... Chiaki.
C: The sinful one is you, isn't it. Kagetora.
C: You ran away like that thirty years ago, too. You avoid and avoid things that are inconvenient to you... and like that, you drove him crazy. Isn't that so?
T: -- I...
C: The hypocrite is you, Kagetora. Acting like you're the only one who hasn't gone crazy. Acting like after four hundred years of living you're the only "proper human". We're already demons. Isn't that right? Isn't that the true state of those who've lived for four hundred years? It's only natural to go insane. Even so, what about you? Is it painful? Is it hard? If you run away like that and only you get to have it easy, who do you think has to clean up the mess you make? Have you even thought about it? "I don't know"? Don't make me laugh. No matter what you knew, despite doing nothing. Pretending like you don't know and running from things that are inconvenient, ignoring them... Have you ever actually really thought about him...!"
T: ... I think about him...
C: Don't lie. All you think about is where to run to. How to interpret so it's convenient to you, how you can run away. Your own self protection, not about him. You're the victim? Wrong. You're the one at fault.
T: I think about him!
T: I think about him every day, always! Like this...
C: Wrong! You think about how to run away. You don't think about how to save him, do you? Acting like you're the only normal one-- you're the master, so it's okay for you to be selfish, right? You probably think it's natural for people to sacrifice themselves. As if. Not realising your own sinfulness, the one falling first to hell... is you, Kagetora!
T: Chiaki...
C: I don't know what happened with Naoe in Toyama, but if you want to understand him, you should try letting him do what he wants for once. If you do, you'll get it. Your own arrogance...
T: ... *runs away*
On the one hand, much needed wakeup call. On the other, ow, that was WAY HARSH and maybe not entirely warranted, especially towards the end. I kind of wanted to give Takaya a hug when he said he thought about Naoe all the time. *wince*
Takaya, having run off, is now angsting around the train station about how Naoe almost died for him back in book two with the case involving Mori Ranmaru and the school and the glass shards, because Takaya himself didn't think he was worth that and surely Naoe had someone or something more precious to protect. Then again, that more precious person is Kagetora; Takaya, but not. Realising that, Takaya kept looking over his shoulder to check that Naoe was still there, afraid that next time he looked Naoe would be gone and being relieved every time that Naoe was there. Takaya thinks about what Chiaki said and wonders if Chiaki was right, if this was just another way of protecting himself and running away.
He then wonders just what it is he's meant to know but not want to accept. He thinks about what Naoe said and did right before he vanished off into the unknown and concludes that the emotion Naoe was calling a lie was not loyalty. Uh, yes, well done, Takaya, good start.
He then concludes, on the basis of the look of hate in Naoe's eyes, that maybe that is the reason for Naoe's actions that he's supposed to be accepting. Um. Close, but no cigar, Takaya. *sigh* He decides not to give up just yet, though, and decides after much hesitation and almost hanging up to ring the Tachibana number Naoe gave him when they first met. Naoe's mum answers the phone.
(... I'm sorry, I just have to stop to giggle. NAOE'S MUM HAHAHA. Okay, I'm done.)
Takaya asks very awkwardly if this is "Yoshiaki-san's" house, and Naoe's mum asks him to wait a moment while she looks for him. Meanwhile, Takaya is quietly spazzing out wondering what the hell he's going to say because Naoe hasn't contacted him at all since the Incident and he doesn't even know what he's calling for. He just wants to hear Naoe's voice. (aw, woobie.)
However, it's all a moot point because Naoe's mum comes back and says that in fact Naoe (er, Yoshiaki) is not there, because it seems he left early that morning on a long-distance trip. She thought he'd stay home for a few days, but it looks like he's gone out with a woman who came to visit the house the day before and she doesn't think he'll be home tonight. Would Takaya like to leave a message?
No, Takaya would NOT. Instead Takaya would like to be inexplicably pissed off that Naoe apparently lied about not dating anyone, and while Takaya's been angsting all by himself. That's just SO TYPICAL, isn't it? Going around keeping all his worries to himself and then having random inexplicable outbursts of anger where he says things that seem like they hurt himself perfectly calmly... Going around doing that kind of thing and then resolving it all by himself. (Applause for Takaya, this is actually incredibly accurate.)
Then Takaya decides he's an idiot for putting up with it, and further decides that he hates Matsumoto and it's small town mentality where everybody looks at him disapprovingly, and he's staying in goddamn Tokyo.
Meanwhile, Chiaki is all like "ARGH FUCK BOTH YOU IDIOTS, I'VE HAD ENOUGH" and goes back to the others, who are like, uh, where's Takaya? Chiaki, still fuming, tells them that Takaya isn't a goddamn kid and can make his own way back to Matsumoto.
Which as we can now all guess isn't going to happen. O, Chiaki, your optimism (?) is so misplaced. XD;
Then he bitches to Ayako some about the Minako Thing and how it's so just a timebomb waiting to go off and happen YET AGAIN.
Back to Takaya, sad puppy, who is lighting cigarettes but not really smoking them because they smell like Naoe. WOOBIE. ;___; He gets into a fight with some students who step on said cigarettes because he's really quite irrational about it, and gets beaten up. Taking stock, it's past midnight and he's injured and hanging out on the sidewalk. OH, TAKAYA.
Then a random man, "about the same age as Naoe but not as tall", shows up and is nice to him. And Takaya's all, g'way and leave me alone. But the man persists in being nice to him and offers his jumper, and Takaya says, completely out of the blue, "I'm not the one running away from "Kagetora". The one who's running away and hiding is him."
Random man: ................
RM: Will you come with me? It doesn't seem like you want to be alone like this right now... You're hurt, you could catch a cold.
To extract:
"So saying, the man holds his palm out above Takaya. Takaya closed his eyes. Tears welled up. The warmth of that hand tightened his chest. Feelings of relief and loneliness mingling together, the name that fell from his lips was snatched away by the damp city breeze."
Which concludes Takaya's POV for several chapters, and it kind of FRIGHTENS ME GREATLY how vulnerable Takaya is at this point thanks to Naoe-- even before Naoe. All it takes is for an older man to come along and be nice to him and Takaya is pretty much at their mercy. No, Takaya! Don't go getting picked up by random older men! It is BOUND TO END IN TROUBLE! And okay, so I know this guy is Kagetora's older brother and all, but YOU DON'T KNOW THAT!
*tears hair out*
In conclusion, Takaya needs hot chocolate and lots of hugs, preferably from Naoe.
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no subject
Date: 2007-07-10 12:15 pm (UTC)Okay, so that might not be the actual question I'm asking. The real question is: am I a bad person to contemplate beginning Japanese just so I can eventually read the Mirage of Blaze novels? XD
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Date: 2007-07-10 01:41 pm (UTC)I dunno. It would be a lot of effort to put in just for one series of books, but then again, I basically forced myself to literacy with Mirage of Blaze. When I got the first book, even though I'd been studying Japanese for like 5 years I couldn't read actual books for shit. *g* Also, think of the incidental opportunities once you did learn Japanese well enough to read mirage! SO MANY FANDOM DOORS OPEN THEMSELVES TO YOU.