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tammaiyaI took my PC to the computer shop to get its sound card fixed on Wednesday and I still don't have it back, which is why I've been pretty much incommunicado. (That, and I've been reading Mirage of Blaze.) I do have a laptop-- I'm using it now, in fact-- but I kind of hate it for a number of reasons, and only use it when I have specific reason to do so.
Very different to the way my PC is generally on at all times and I'll wander over to check if I have emails or if anyone has pinged me on IM in the meantime every so often. Apparently I have also forgotten to check LJ. I hadn't actually realised this, but being on skip 60 and not done yet, I figure it must be so. (I did check it at least once on the laptop, but I think that may have been wednesday night...)
So really I have no idea what's going on with this adult content thing, but whatever. Quick rundown of my life currently: went to a 21st last night and another one tonight. The one yesterday was Tristan's; we went to a restaurant and then to a club afterwards. Got yelled at for not calling before 11pm, didn't get home until 4, didn't go to bed until 5 (... was reading), woke up with a hypo at 7.30, read some more, went back to bed at 10am, crawled out of bed at 2.45pm, read until about 6.30pm, got ready, drove to Kathy's party.
Dad at 1.30pm: Get out of bed! Look, the dog thinks you should get up.
Dog: *jumps on the bed and curls up*
Me: *mumbles* clearly she doesn't. g'way. *rolls over*
Anyway, tonight is the first time my mum has let me borrow her car. It is like a miracle! So much that I didn't care about not being able to drink. Actually I don't like drinking that much anyway and I drank last night, so whatever. Things to never tell her are that I suspect I may possibly have forgotten to lock the car (...) and that I was hypo when I got home. ahaha. however the car is home in one piece and without incident, so. Even if it took me ages to get out the driveway because she stood there going "you're not straight! turn! turn! no! go forward! reverse!" which was VERY DISTRACTING, christ.
In other news, I start uni again on monday. summer session. le SIGH.
Whichever way, as said above, this is all just an excuse to rant about mirage of blaze but I thought I should probably make some sort of effort about my actual life first. It was longer than I thought it would be, but moving on.
Okay, basically? This series needs to come with a warning label. Something along the lines of that generic warning of, you know, "should not be read by pregnant women or anyone on blood pressure medication" or something. Also, may cause severe depressive episodes and loss of faith in humanity.
YOU THINK I'M JOKING BUT I'M NOT.
After a five book long arc where more often than not one's spirit is being crushed into the dust, you'd think it wouldn't be too much to ask for a more upbeat ending, but APPARENTLY IT IS. Apparently happy arc endings are old now. 10-12 ended with Takaya being crazy in the head over Naoe's death, 13-14 ended... okay, not unhappily exactly, but not really happily either-- wait, what the fuck am I saying, has a Mirage arc ever had a happy ending? Now that I think about it the last happy ending was back in like, book 4. If then.
But WHATEVER. Book 19 takes the cake for most depressing ending so far. When the book finishes... okay, um, first of all, Kagetora has been deposed as the General of the Uesugi Yashashuu WITHOUT HIS KNOWLEDGE by Kenshin (that's what the cryptic previous post about me being shitted off with various people largely referred to) and replaced by Naoe of all people. He has finally found out about this, but he hasn't actually met Naoe since. Alright, this is complicated. In reality, since book 15 when they made out against a wall (I liked book 15), but Naoe was controlling Kaizaki then and Takaya didn't consciously realise it was him because he was crazy and hypnotising himself to believe that, rather than Naoe having died (at the end of book 11), Kotarou, head of the Fuuma ninjas, was Naoe instead. So as far as Takaya is aware it's since Kotarou came to see him in the hotel in book 15 just after the wall incident. Anyway. Takaya has lots of angst about Kenshin, who hasn't contacted him and won't respond to Takaya's desperate pleas to know why he's been abandoned, and lots of angst about Naoe, who apparently intends to exorcise him. Also, it seems that Kenshin has chosen to join the Yamisengoku, which is basically directly against everything the Uesugi have supposedly acted for over the last four hundred years, to the extent of involving ordinary people.
None of these things are sorted out by the end of book 19.
Instead, at the end of book 19, the status of various characters is as follows: Ayako has been kidnapped by Oda; Chiaki has, from all appearances, had his soul destroyed by Oda; Yuzuru was once more controlled by Oda and chose to stop his own heart so he wouldn't kill Takaya, and is now in the hands of Kousaka; Irobe was dying, last seen; Hakkai was in the destruction zone during one of the major battles and is probably dead; and Takaya took a direct hit from this mammoth cloud of vengeful spirits and has had his memories of Naoe's death very violently restored to him, along with what seems to be the power to kill people with his eyes, and has flipped back from crazy in the head to full on psycho break, flames, trauma, flashbacks, the whole shebang and is maybe dying as a result of his own flames. Naoe is... with Takaya for the first time since, er, see above, but Takaya is not really in a state where he's aware of this, and also, Naoe is still technically his enemy. I mean. See above and all.
So in conclusion, JESUS FUCK OW MY SOUL, I NEEDED THAT.
Regarding the Naoe and Kenshin situation, I spent the whole of... okay, I spent the last 3 books being sullen and resentful towards the Uesugi, but Naoe obviously still cared about Takaya so he was exempted on, you know, probation. But in book 19 I took that back; he totally IS the worst boyfriend ever. He had the nerve to be shocked that Kagetora was opposing a clan allied with the New Uesugi, despite that he knew Takaya had been investigating them earlier and that they'd brainwashed an entire high school to act as their soldiers. Like, jesus CHRIST, Naoe, what did you expect? That despite everyone going behind his back and not even having the courtesy to tell him what was going on (note, the Uesugi clearly need some unfair dismissal laws-- suffering under Howard's workchoices?), Kagetora was going to put aside what he's stood for for the past 400 years, docilely accept that you're now his superior and that the Uesugi have joined the yamisengoku and be a good little housewife, staying by your side safely out of the fighting? Because that's certainly what it seemed like.
And I will admit, I took what was probably a shameful amount of vindictive schadenfreude glee out of it every time Naoe freaked out about the possibility that Takaya was injured or dead. Kind of like, HAH, I hope you feel really bad because this is at least partially YOUR FAULT and you TOTALLY DESERVE IT.
Example:
Explosion: *is in fact Chiaki being annihilated by Oda's soul destruction wave and countering it with exorcism like Kagetora did 30 years ago*
Naoe: *doesn't know this, but recognises what's happened as the same as 30 years ago* TAKAYA-SAN! D:
Me: I HAVE NO SYMPATHY, NAOE. *is a cruel, cruel woman*
I don't know why it's so much easier for me to forgive Kagetora his passive aggressive bullshit and mindgames, because he's certainly done a lot of shit to Naoe over the years, but backstabbing is such a trigger issue for me. I'm sure I'll forgive Naoe eventually and there may even be a good reason, but I can't forgive the behind the back covertness of it all (which is why I especially hate Kenshin right now, PARTICULARLY given Kagetora's very deeply ingrained abandonment complex) and I reserve the right to be really angry and vindictive and take smug satisfaction in Naoe suffering over Takaya's possible death, injury, etc for a while.
Now, onto Chiaki. He got seemingly taken out by Oda's soul destruction wave maybe 2/3 through the arc, but I assumed correctly that there was going to be some kind of hail mary on that one. However, halfway through book 19, he confronted Oda again, and this time, it was fairly definitive. And explosive. And there was Takaya angst. My reaction was kind of like, "... WHAT."
Seriously, Chiaki is one of my favourite characters. There have been moments where I've seriously wished him to suffer blunt force trauma to the head, but mostly I adore him. I especially adore him when, even though he's the one in the Yashashuu who supposedly hates Kagetora, he chooses Kagetora over the Uesugi. Actions speak louder than words. Nagahide left the Uesugi mostly because Kagetora wouldn't listen to him about sending Naoe away with Minako (they couldn't afford to be one man down in the fight), but he came back when Takaya surfaced. He said he didn't care either way and was cutting all ties with the Uesugi when he found out about the plans to depose Kagetora, but he sent Yagami to Kagetora's side and told him not to listen to anyone else's orders (what ever happened to Yagami? that was the last time we saw him), and he joined up with Kagetora again to help him take out the threat Oda posed. He got killed doing that, which he basically knew was going to happen, but his last thoughts were "Don't die, Kagetora." I kind of love Chiaki crazy amounts right now. Also I sort of, um, really want Chiaki/Takaya. Even though I KNOW it would never work, and even though I do OTP Naoe/Takaya (you'd want to, reading this series) despite being a little grumpy at Naoe right now.
Anyway, since I've started reading I've been trying to avoid being spoilered any further than I already had been (the last thing I'd been spoilered on was regarding book 20, so I'm just about past that point), but I couldn't take it when it came to Chiaki. I had to know whether he was dead for real or not. Because I totally couldn't accept that he was, not less than halfway through.
(IF YOU CARE ABOUT SPOILERS BEYOND BOOK 19 DON'T READ PAST THIS BIT.)
And as it turns out, he's not dead forever! He comes back in book 32! HOORAY. I honestly don't know what I would have done if the last book he was in was book 19. There would've been temper-tantrums, certainly. I've had some pretty impressive/pathetic fits of depressive rage over the deaths of favourite characters. Even as it stands, I'm going to miss him in the meantime. 12 books is a long gap. Omg, how will I cope without his acerbic sarcasm and Kagetora put downs! ILU Chiaki, I'm so glad you're not dead. ;__; (seriously, how much would it SUCK to be reading this series as it was published? I can't imagine. what a horrible thought. not only would there be no Chiaki spoilers to look up, when you had a total downer ending you'd be STUCK there. ugh.)
Oh my god, why is it this late? I'm a douche. For the record it is now 4.15, which means I've been writing this entry for an hour and a half. *headdesk* BED.
PS, there will be actual summaries at some point. Really. Although I'm, you know, going to have to go back to book 7 because stuff won't make sense if I skip books.
Very different to the way my PC is generally on at all times and I'll wander over to check if I have emails or if anyone has pinged me on IM in the meantime every so often. Apparently I have also forgotten to check LJ. I hadn't actually realised this, but being on skip 60 and not done yet, I figure it must be so. (I did check it at least once on the laptop, but I think that may have been wednesday night...)
So really I have no idea what's going on with this adult content thing, but whatever. Quick rundown of my life currently: went to a 21st last night and another one tonight. The one yesterday was Tristan's; we went to a restaurant and then to a club afterwards. Got yelled at for not calling before 11pm, didn't get home until 4, didn't go to bed until 5 (... was reading), woke up with a hypo at 7.30, read some more, went back to bed at 10am, crawled out of bed at 2.45pm, read until about 6.30pm, got ready, drove to Kathy's party.
Dad at 1.30pm: Get out of bed! Look, the dog thinks you should get up.
Dog: *jumps on the bed and curls up*
Me: *mumbles* clearly she doesn't. g'way. *rolls over*
Anyway, tonight is the first time my mum has let me borrow her car. It is like a miracle! So much that I didn't care about not being able to drink. Actually I don't like drinking that much anyway and I drank last night, so whatever. Things to never tell her are that I suspect I may possibly have forgotten to lock the car (...) and that I was hypo when I got home. ahaha. however the car is home in one piece and without incident, so. Even if it took me ages to get out the driveway because she stood there going "you're not straight! turn! turn! no! go forward! reverse!" which was VERY DISTRACTING, christ.
In other news, I start uni again on monday. summer session. le SIGH.
Whichever way, as said above, this is all just an excuse to rant about mirage of blaze but I thought I should probably make some sort of effort about my actual life first. It was longer than I thought it would be, but moving on.
Okay, basically? This series needs to come with a warning label. Something along the lines of that generic warning of, you know, "should not be read by pregnant women or anyone on blood pressure medication" or something. Also, may cause severe depressive episodes and loss of faith in humanity.
YOU THINK I'M JOKING BUT I'M NOT.
After a five book long arc where more often than not one's spirit is being crushed into the dust, you'd think it wouldn't be too much to ask for a more upbeat ending, but APPARENTLY IT IS. Apparently happy arc endings are old now. 10-12 ended with Takaya being crazy in the head over Naoe's death, 13-14 ended... okay, not unhappily exactly, but not really happily either-- wait, what the fuck am I saying, has a Mirage arc ever had a happy ending? Now that I think about it the last happy ending was back in like, book 4. If then.
But WHATEVER. Book 19 takes the cake for most depressing ending so far. When the book finishes... okay, um, first of all, Kagetora has been deposed as the General of the Uesugi Yashashuu WITHOUT HIS KNOWLEDGE by Kenshin (that's what the cryptic previous post about me being shitted off with various people largely referred to) and replaced by Naoe of all people. He has finally found out about this, but he hasn't actually met Naoe since. Alright, this is complicated. In reality, since book 15 when they made out against a wall (I liked book 15), but Naoe was controlling Kaizaki then and Takaya didn't consciously realise it was him because he was crazy and hypnotising himself to believe that, rather than Naoe having died (at the end of book 11), Kotarou, head of the Fuuma ninjas, was Naoe instead. So as far as Takaya is aware it's since Kotarou came to see him in the hotel in book 15 just after the wall incident. Anyway. Takaya has lots of angst about Kenshin, who hasn't contacted him and won't respond to Takaya's desperate pleas to know why he's been abandoned, and lots of angst about Naoe, who apparently intends to exorcise him. Also, it seems that Kenshin has chosen to join the Yamisengoku, which is basically directly against everything the Uesugi have supposedly acted for over the last four hundred years, to the extent of involving ordinary people.
None of these things are sorted out by the end of book 19.
Instead, at the end of book 19, the status of various characters is as follows: Ayako has been kidnapped by Oda; Chiaki has, from all appearances, had his soul destroyed by Oda; Yuzuru was once more controlled by Oda and chose to stop his own heart so he wouldn't kill Takaya, and is now in the hands of Kousaka; Irobe was dying, last seen; Hakkai was in the destruction zone during one of the major battles and is probably dead; and Takaya took a direct hit from this mammoth cloud of vengeful spirits and has had his memories of Naoe's death very violently restored to him, along with what seems to be the power to kill people with his eyes, and has flipped back from crazy in the head to full on psycho break, flames, trauma, flashbacks, the whole shebang and is maybe dying as a result of his own flames. Naoe is... with Takaya for the first time since, er, see above, but Takaya is not really in a state where he's aware of this, and also, Naoe is still technically his enemy. I mean. See above and all.
So in conclusion, JESUS FUCK OW MY SOUL, I NEEDED THAT.
Regarding the Naoe and Kenshin situation, I spent the whole of... okay, I spent the last 3 books being sullen and resentful towards the Uesugi, but Naoe obviously still cared about Takaya so he was exempted on, you know, probation. But in book 19 I took that back; he totally IS the worst boyfriend ever. He had the nerve to be shocked that Kagetora was opposing a clan allied with the New Uesugi, despite that he knew Takaya had been investigating them earlier and that they'd brainwashed an entire high school to act as their soldiers. Like, jesus CHRIST, Naoe, what did you expect? That despite everyone going behind his back and not even having the courtesy to tell him what was going on (note, the Uesugi clearly need some unfair dismissal laws-- suffering under Howard's workchoices?), Kagetora was going to put aside what he's stood for for the past 400 years, docilely accept that you're now his superior and that the Uesugi have joined the yamisengoku and be a good little housewife, staying by your side safely out of the fighting? Because that's certainly what it seemed like.
And I will admit, I took what was probably a shameful amount of vindictive schadenfreude glee out of it every time Naoe freaked out about the possibility that Takaya was injured or dead. Kind of like, HAH, I hope you feel really bad because this is at least partially YOUR FAULT and you TOTALLY DESERVE IT.
Example:
Explosion: *is in fact Chiaki being annihilated by Oda's soul destruction wave and countering it with exorcism like Kagetora did 30 years ago*
Naoe: *doesn't know this, but recognises what's happened as the same as 30 years ago* TAKAYA-SAN! D:
Me: I HAVE NO SYMPATHY, NAOE. *is a cruel, cruel woman*
I don't know why it's so much easier for me to forgive Kagetora his passive aggressive bullshit and mindgames, because he's certainly done a lot of shit to Naoe over the years, but backstabbing is such a trigger issue for me. I'm sure I'll forgive Naoe eventually and there may even be a good reason, but I can't forgive the behind the back covertness of it all (which is why I especially hate Kenshin right now, PARTICULARLY given Kagetora's very deeply ingrained abandonment complex) and I reserve the right to be really angry and vindictive and take smug satisfaction in Naoe suffering over Takaya's possible death, injury, etc for a while.
Now, onto Chiaki. He got seemingly taken out by Oda's soul destruction wave maybe 2/3 through the arc, but I assumed correctly that there was going to be some kind of hail mary on that one. However, halfway through book 19, he confronted Oda again, and this time, it was fairly definitive. And explosive. And there was Takaya angst. My reaction was kind of like, "... WHAT."
Seriously, Chiaki is one of my favourite characters. There have been moments where I've seriously wished him to suffer blunt force trauma to the head, but mostly I adore him. I especially adore him when, even though he's the one in the Yashashuu who supposedly hates Kagetora, he chooses Kagetora over the Uesugi. Actions speak louder than words. Nagahide left the Uesugi mostly because Kagetora wouldn't listen to him about sending Naoe away with Minako (they couldn't afford to be one man down in the fight), but he came back when Takaya surfaced. He said he didn't care either way and was cutting all ties with the Uesugi when he found out about the plans to depose Kagetora, but he sent Yagami to Kagetora's side and told him not to listen to anyone else's orders (what ever happened to Yagami? that was the last time we saw him), and he joined up with Kagetora again to help him take out the threat Oda posed. He got killed doing that, which he basically knew was going to happen, but his last thoughts were "Don't die, Kagetora." I kind of love Chiaki crazy amounts right now. Also I sort of, um, really want Chiaki/Takaya. Even though I KNOW it would never work, and even though I do OTP Naoe/Takaya (you'd want to, reading this series) despite being a little grumpy at Naoe right now.
Anyway, since I've started reading I've been trying to avoid being spoilered any further than I already had been (the last thing I'd been spoilered on was regarding book 20, so I'm just about past that point), but I couldn't take it when it came to Chiaki. I had to know whether he was dead for real or not. Because I totally couldn't accept that he was, not less than halfway through.
(IF YOU CARE ABOUT SPOILERS BEYOND BOOK 19 DON'T READ PAST THIS BIT.)
And as it turns out, he's not dead forever! He comes back in book 32! HOORAY. I honestly don't know what I would have done if the last book he was in was book 19. There would've been temper-tantrums, certainly. I've had some pretty impressive/pathetic fits of depressive rage over the deaths of favourite characters. Even as it stands, I'm going to miss him in the meantime. 12 books is a long gap. Omg, how will I cope without his acerbic sarcasm and Kagetora put downs! ILU Chiaki, I'm so glad you're not dead. ;__; (seriously, how much would it SUCK to be reading this series as it was published? I can't imagine. what a horrible thought. not only would there be no Chiaki spoilers to look up, when you had a total downer ending you'd be STUCK there. ugh.)
Oh my god, why is it this late? I'm a douche. For the record it is now 4.15, which means I've been writing this entry for an hour and a half. *headdesk* BED.
PS, there will be actual summaries at some point. Really. Although I'm, you know, going to have to go back to book 7 because stuff won't make sense if I skip books.
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no subject
Date: 2007-12-02 02:15 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-12-01 06:44 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-12-02 01:51 am (UTC)The problem with the first theory is that it doesn't explain WTF Kenshin is thinking in joining the yamisengoku. Or the fact that, if you're joining the yamisengoku, tossing Kagetora away is kind of REALLY STUPID. Even if you're worried about having a commander who would throw in your whole cause for the sake of one person... er, Naoe is SO not your best second choice. So, so not.
So I am lead back to it being a hoax or miscommunication or SOMETHING theory. Somehow. I don't know how, but it is the only thing that makes sense to me. I'm sure I'll find out soon enough, though. (It only took me about a week to read the whole 火輪の王国 arc. As opposed to the first book... which took me TWO YEARS. XD; the only issue with this being that it means I have to pay for the damn books faster. *was hoping to leave off getting 29+ until after she'd gone to japan, but that's looking a lot less likely*)
your faceplant icon is so appropriate for this subject. *uses her own icon to represent the nature of the relationship one has with honoo no mirage*
no subject
Date: 2008-01-12 04:13 am (UTC)The one thing that still doesn't make sense is why the Uesugi are joining the Yami Sengoku when previously they've been all high and mighty and overly moralistic about it all. Maybe that gets explained later. *headdesk*
no subject
Date: 2007-12-01 09:09 pm (UTC)He had the nerve to be shocked that Kagetora was opposed to a clan allied with the New Uesugi, despite that he knew that Takaya had been investigating them earlier and they'd brainwashed an entire high school to act as their soldiers. Even though Kagetora had opposed and exorcised his birth clan for their actions against the living in order to triumph in the yami segoku.
I am kind of perversely pleased that the Uesugi are now just like any other clan like they were in the RL sengoku. During the anime when I heard Naoe describe Kenshin as the one warlord who fought for justice or any similiar lines I'd role my eyes; which made me like Kousaka even more.
no subject
Date: 2007-12-02 02:10 am (UTC)As for during the current era, Ujiyasu is coming off a lot better than Kenshin, but it's a high likelihood that he just wants to use him. Anything Kotarou does is presumably authorised by Ujiyasu, and the kidnapping plot in the Wadatsumi arc was just ROTTEN. Even if the whole Naoe being killed thing was accidental, using him as a hostage certainly wasn't. Also, Kotarou's bright idea of sleeping with Takaya as "Naoe" to get him to change sides is just creepy. I'm less sure that Ujiyasu was aware of the details of that one, but nevertheless.
Re: justice blah blah, the point has been made by other clans that Kenshin did some awful things during the civil war too because those were the times, and there are other generals who reincarnate to protect something rather than to dominate the whole of Japan. It's hard to comment on the whole exorcism and yamisengoku thing when I don't really know what's going on yet, though, so I might have to wait a few books so I actually have a clue. XD