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Jul. 22nd, 2003 07:18 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
tammaiyaI officially need a labotomy, to stop me writing horrible things like these. I don't know if I'll finish it; what little inspiration was there has gone away. I don't even know why I wrote in the first place. IT'S HORRIBLE.
Draco Malfoy, evil mastermind and Slytherin extraordinaire, was smirking rather smugly. Thumping a school paper down in front of Harry, he pointed to an article entitled ‘Heroism vs Evil Genius: Potter-Malfoy Fight Continues’. “Impressed by my evil genius, Potter?”
Harry stared at the paper dubiously, flipping it open and scanning the piece on Malfoy’s latest idiotic escapade. “Not really. First of all, I would hardly call it genius. I don’t think I’ve ever felt the urge to call anything about you genius, actually. For example, what kind of evil genius tells the protagonist exactly what his plot entails?” He considered this briefly. “Aside from utterly cliché bad guys in James Bond. And secondly, it isn’t particularly evil either.”
“James Bond?” Draco repeated slowly. “Anyway, what do you mean, it isn’t evil?” he demanded. “It’s a nefarious plot by yours truly. Of course it’s evil!”
Harry shook his head. “That’s stupid. Just because you come up with a devious plot, Malfoy, it doesn’t make it evil. And I’ve already pointed out that it isn’t devious, or nefarious, or whatever. None of your plots are. Mostly they’re just really bloody annoying,” he explained patiently.
“Now you’re just being ridiculous. My plots have to be evil. When an evil genius comes up with the plot, the plot is evil! You’re attempting to defy a proven fact, Potter,” Draco snapped.
Harry frowned. “You aren’t a genius. I told you that already. Besides, you aren’t even evil. Why do you bother, Malfoy?”
Malfoy spluttered. “Not evil? Are you on crack, Potter? Of course I’m evil! I’m a Malfoy, for fuck’s sake!”
Harry shrugged. “Sorry, but being a Malfoy isn’t a free ticket to being evil. You’re too petty to be evil.”
“I’m your arch-nemesis!” Draco argued.
Harry raised his eyebrows. “Really? I’ll be sure to tell Voldemort next time he tries to kill me, then, shall I?”
Draco glared at him in disgust. “You know very well what I meant, Potter. If you continue to be so unreasonable, I’m going to hex you into next year.”
“Oh, good,” Harry commented vaguely. “If you do that, I won’t have to do the NEWTS. Do you plan on leaving anytime soon, Malfoy? If you don’t mind, I’m rather busy and would like to finish this essay.”
While Draco attempted to formulate a reasonable response to this (hopefully one that wouldn’t get him chucked out of the library), Ron Weasley wandered over and dumped his books next to Harry, glancing from Harry to Draco with a scandalised expression.
“Harry!” Ron hissed. “You’re talking to Malfoy!”
Harry looked up and blinked. “So I am. I thought he’d left. Malfoy, why are you still here?”
Draco stared, rather nonplussed. “Are you really trying to tell me that you don’t think I’m evil?”
“Yes,” Harry answered calmly.
Ron’s jaw would have hit the table in a cartoon. “Are you serious? Harry, he’s Malfoy! Of course he’s evil!”
Harry rolled his eyes. “You’re both being silly.” Ignoring their protests about being compared to each other, he went on, “Malfoy is not evil, for the love of Merlin. He is a highly nasty and unpleasant person, yes, and describing him as a small-minded and horrible git is too high a compliment, but he’s not evil. Now do you two mind? This essay is due tomorrow!”
“Yeah, piss off, Malfoy,” Ron added firmly.
Storming off, an extremely displeased Malfoy was muttering something that sounded an awful lot like ‘not evil my arse.’
A week later, Malfoy accosted Harry in the halls outside of Potions when he was running late. “Potter,” Draco began, “if you hate me, why won’t you admit that I’m evil?”
Harry considered kicking Malfoy in the shin so he wouldn’t be even later than he was already. Snape would kill him. “Malfoy, I don’t hate you. Move out of the way.”
Draco scowled. “Now you don’t hate me? Potter, is this the same as me not being evil?”
Harry sighed. “Yes, I suppose so. Do you intend to make us both miss Potions entirely?”
Draco shrugged. “Maybe. You’re the one who’d get in trouble. When you say you don’t hate me, does that just mean you don’t like me?”
Harry narrowed his eyes. “Yes. In fact, not only do I not like you, I actively dislike you. Are you going to move, or do I have to make you?”
“You dislike me, but you don’t hate me and I’m not evil, is that it?” Draco persisted.
“How many times do I have to say this? YES! It’s not that hard, Malfoy! Move!” Harry fumed.
Draco sullenly moved to the side, severely put out by Potter’s insistence that he wasn’t evil. He wasn’t so put out, however, that he forgot to trip Harry. Potter’s books made a very satisfying thudding noise when they hit the ground, he thought. “Malfoy, you utter git!”
Privately, Malfoy reflected that at least Potter was still insulting him.
“Mr Malfoy?”
Draco’s head snapped up from his desk. “Yes, Professor Snape?”
“Would you care to explain your… shall we say, unusual behaviour?”
Draco gazed at him blankly. “Pardon, sir?”
Snape sighed exasperatedly. “Draco, you are sitting in the middle of the classroom staring off into space. You have been doing so for the past hour, and, might I add, throughout the lesson. If your odd inattention to Potions were not enough, I would think that the fact that you have been sitting here at least 10 minutes since the rest of the class has departed would be.”
Draco blinked, and glanced around the room. So they had; he hadn’t even noticed. “Sorry, sir. Didn’t realise.”
“Yes, I can see that,” Snape muttered. “You have yet to tell me why.”
Draco crossed his arms on the desk and let his chin rest on them. “Potter doesn’t hate me. He says I’m not evil enough.”
Snape gave him a weird look. “Indeed. Very well, Mr Malfoy. I take it you will be leaving the class now?”
“Oh yeah.” Grabbing his books, Draco waved half-heartedly and almost walked into the wall on his way out. Snape stared after him thoughtfully.
“Sometimes, I worry about that boy.”
I need professional help.
Draco Malfoy, evil mastermind and Slytherin extraordinaire, was smirking rather smugly. Thumping a school paper down in front of Harry, he pointed to an article entitled ‘Heroism vs Evil Genius: Potter-Malfoy Fight Continues’. “Impressed by my evil genius, Potter?”
Harry stared at the paper dubiously, flipping it open and scanning the piece on Malfoy’s latest idiotic escapade. “Not really. First of all, I would hardly call it genius. I don’t think I’ve ever felt the urge to call anything about you genius, actually. For example, what kind of evil genius tells the protagonist exactly what his plot entails?” He considered this briefly. “Aside from utterly cliché bad guys in James Bond. And secondly, it isn’t particularly evil either.”
“James Bond?” Draco repeated slowly. “Anyway, what do you mean, it isn’t evil?” he demanded. “It’s a nefarious plot by yours truly. Of course it’s evil!”
Harry shook his head. “That’s stupid. Just because you come up with a devious plot, Malfoy, it doesn’t make it evil. And I’ve already pointed out that it isn’t devious, or nefarious, or whatever. None of your plots are. Mostly they’re just really bloody annoying,” he explained patiently.
“Now you’re just being ridiculous. My plots have to be evil. When an evil genius comes up with the plot, the plot is evil! You’re attempting to defy a proven fact, Potter,” Draco snapped.
Harry frowned. “You aren’t a genius. I told you that already. Besides, you aren’t even evil. Why do you bother, Malfoy?”
Malfoy spluttered. “Not evil? Are you on crack, Potter? Of course I’m evil! I’m a Malfoy, for fuck’s sake!”
Harry shrugged. “Sorry, but being a Malfoy isn’t a free ticket to being evil. You’re too petty to be evil.”
“I’m your arch-nemesis!” Draco argued.
Harry raised his eyebrows. “Really? I’ll be sure to tell Voldemort next time he tries to kill me, then, shall I?”
Draco glared at him in disgust. “You know very well what I meant, Potter. If you continue to be so unreasonable, I’m going to hex you into next year.”
“Oh, good,” Harry commented vaguely. “If you do that, I won’t have to do the NEWTS. Do you plan on leaving anytime soon, Malfoy? If you don’t mind, I’m rather busy and would like to finish this essay.”
While Draco attempted to formulate a reasonable response to this (hopefully one that wouldn’t get him chucked out of the library), Ron Weasley wandered over and dumped his books next to Harry, glancing from Harry to Draco with a scandalised expression.
“Harry!” Ron hissed. “You’re talking to Malfoy!”
Harry looked up and blinked. “So I am. I thought he’d left. Malfoy, why are you still here?”
Draco stared, rather nonplussed. “Are you really trying to tell me that you don’t think I’m evil?”
“Yes,” Harry answered calmly.
Ron’s jaw would have hit the table in a cartoon. “Are you serious? Harry, he’s Malfoy! Of course he’s evil!”
Harry rolled his eyes. “You’re both being silly.” Ignoring their protests about being compared to each other, he went on, “Malfoy is not evil, for the love of Merlin. He is a highly nasty and unpleasant person, yes, and describing him as a small-minded and horrible git is too high a compliment, but he’s not evil. Now do you two mind? This essay is due tomorrow!”
“Yeah, piss off, Malfoy,” Ron added firmly.
Storming off, an extremely displeased Malfoy was muttering something that sounded an awful lot like ‘not evil my arse.’
A week later, Malfoy accosted Harry in the halls outside of Potions when he was running late. “Potter,” Draco began, “if you hate me, why won’t you admit that I’m evil?”
Harry considered kicking Malfoy in the shin so he wouldn’t be even later than he was already. Snape would kill him. “Malfoy, I don’t hate you. Move out of the way.”
Draco scowled. “Now you don’t hate me? Potter, is this the same as me not being evil?”
Harry sighed. “Yes, I suppose so. Do you intend to make us both miss Potions entirely?”
Draco shrugged. “Maybe. You’re the one who’d get in trouble. When you say you don’t hate me, does that just mean you don’t like me?”
Harry narrowed his eyes. “Yes. In fact, not only do I not like you, I actively dislike you. Are you going to move, or do I have to make you?”
“You dislike me, but you don’t hate me and I’m not evil, is that it?” Draco persisted.
“How many times do I have to say this? YES! It’s not that hard, Malfoy! Move!” Harry fumed.
Draco sullenly moved to the side, severely put out by Potter’s insistence that he wasn’t evil. He wasn’t so put out, however, that he forgot to trip Harry. Potter’s books made a very satisfying thudding noise when they hit the ground, he thought. “Malfoy, you utter git!”
Privately, Malfoy reflected that at least Potter was still insulting him.
“Mr Malfoy?”
Draco’s head snapped up from his desk. “Yes, Professor Snape?”
“Would you care to explain your… shall we say, unusual behaviour?”
Draco gazed at him blankly. “Pardon, sir?”
Snape sighed exasperatedly. “Draco, you are sitting in the middle of the classroom staring off into space. You have been doing so for the past hour, and, might I add, throughout the lesson. If your odd inattention to Potions were not enough, I would think that the fact that you have been sitting here at least 10 minutes since the rest of the class has departed would be.”
Draco blinked, and glanced around the room. So they had; he hadn’t even noticed. “Sorry, sir. Didn’t realise.”
“Yes, I can see that,” Snape muttered. “You have yet to tell me why.”
Draco crossed his arms on the desk and let his chin rest on them. “Potter doesn’t hate me. He says I’m not evil enough.”
Snape gave him a weird look. “Indeed. Very well, Mr Malfoy. I take it you will be leaving the class now?”
“Oh yeah.” Grabbing his books, Draco waved half-heartedly and almost walked into the wall on his way out. Snape stared after him thoughtfully.
“Sometimes, I worry about that boy.”
I need professional help.
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no subject
Date: 2003-07-22 09:31 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-07-22 09:43 am (UTC)I don't even know why I wrote it, which is the scary thing. It started plaguing me in the car and wouldn't go away.
I may eventually fix it. I may one day come up with a logical reason for why Harry has discovered intelligence and sanity. This may even not be the beginning.
But I don't know, and I'm probably too lazy. Thanks for reading my crap, anyway. *grin*
no subject
Date: 2003-07-22 10:12 am (UTC)maybe the reason why harry is all smart and nice and stuff is that he is ACTUALLY A WOMAN. i have read one of those. it hurt me inside.
no subject
Date: 2003-07-23 10:31 am (UTC)I'm glad you think it is worthy, helgs. I have come up with a highly ridiculous and convoluted reason for why Harry is OOC. Draco will, of course, go insane. I might add that now-ish.
Eugenie wants me to put in Snape/Lucius. She says she'll love me forever.
I may. If I can be bothered.
no subject
Date: 2003-07-24 11:09 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-07-26 06:56 am (UTC)NEW FAVOURITE COUPLE
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Date: 2003-07-26 07:02 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-07-26 10:55 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-07-24 11:35 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-07-26 07:02 am (UTC)